Apr 21, 2015

An Oh Jones first!

Everyone has their firsts... 
1st steps...
1st tooth...
1st awkward hair cut, because you trust your mom, and get a "shag" but it's really a mullet...
1st crush...,
1st dance....
1st "Bachelor" episode...

The same thing happens for blogs!
1st post...
1st tweet from a reader...
1st comment that's not your mom...
1st death threat (thanks Grace)...
(too be fair it was out of love...i think/hope)
and now Oh Jones has it's first coupon code! 

I couldn't be more excited, because it's for an awesome local jewelry {online} shop in VA called 

I first learned about Lauren's amazing jewels from my real life friends/sorority sisters 
Colleen and Emily (who have fab blogs that you need to check out.) 

A (weird) goal I had for myself in 2015 to accessorize better, but I struggle on spending a lot of money for jewelry. 

I know that's surprising to some of you, because I really dig shiny things and stuff, 
but I also dig food and shoes which I throw money at like I'm Scrooge McDuck. 

Then when I saw the pretty and affordable jewelry on Made's site, I knew my dreams for collecting a treasure chest of jewels was going to come true. 

Lauren is a fellow Longwood University homie, not to mention super freakin' talented. 

Her and her husband started Made in Mechanicsville in January of this year. 
She has earrings, necklaces, and beautiful bracelets and I want one of errything. 

I am the proud owner of the Silver Larks, 

& the Tabitha's
They are so pretty, light weight, and versatile. 
I mean they made me look so much prettier as I shoved my 2nd chicken salad sandwich in my mouth and my friend's bridal shower this weekend: 

I've had both pair for about 7 days and I've worn them ....all 7. 

Since Lauren is the coolest baller amongst all ballers she is offering a 20% discount when you use the coupon code: OHJONES at her site: http://www.madeinmechanicsville.com

So go out there and scoop some amazing stuff! 

You should also follow Lauren on twitter and on the 'gram: @madeinmechanicsville 

Leave me a comment and let me know whatcha get! 
 And thank you thank you THANK YOU to Lauren for being the BEST.

Apr 19, 2015

Target on your back...

There's been a couple times in my life we're I've played into the hype of an event or must have items.

If I didn't get a tamagotchi ASAP, I threatened to poop on the floor of my parents home, like my neglected tamagotchi was currently doing in a Toys R Us. 

My obsession with Beanie Babies was all too real and what my mom called "a problem." 

And yes, I did camp out for 'NSYNC tickets not once, but twice. 

I've stood in line for free Chipotle...

In the rain for a free ice cream cone (last week)....

So I'm not too proud. 

When I heard the Lilly Pulitzer was going to make items for Target, 
I thought, "Neat." 
I checked the look book, and found some really cute items, even plus sized things. 
Once I learned they weren't carrying the plus sized clothes in the store, because you know the extra fabric really clogs the racks, I was still mildly intrigued to see all the pretty things in person. 

 I asked my best friend Sara if she wanted to leisurely make our way to the Waynesboro, VA Target at 8am when the store opened. 
Ya know, maybe stop and get Starbucks, and casually browse. 

The plan went swimmingly up until the "casually browse." 

We arrived at Target at 8:10am, and saw a group of women standing around two empty racks, while two women had carts full of every piece of Lilly...down to the hammocks. 

I asked a lady standing there, "What's the deal? What's the plan? How is this working? Is there a line?" 
Because I thought we were all in this together.

When I say she locked eyes with me and essentially told me she would fight me, I am 100% telling the truth. 

The conversation went like this: 

"Hey there. What's the deal? What's the plan? How is this working? Is there a line?" 

Part Woman/Part Wolverine:

I almost just gave her my wallet. 

I didn't break eye contact and slowly backed away until I felt like I could safely out run her. 

I went back to Sara and said, "These ladies ain't playing."

We walked around the store, and saw a 12 year old answer her phone, and tell her friend it wasn't worth coming because everything was gone. 

We clearly underestimated the thirst for Lil' P. 

Towards the front of the store, there was a woman telling anyone who would listen that she had been up all night trying to buy things and how disappointed she was in the inventory. 

Next to her was her daughter...with a cart full of stuff.

As the mother began reenacting her fight with a man over scarves to Sara, her daughter told me that she acquired everything in her cart because she was nice to people. 
She talked about how she handed things in her cart to people who wanted it more than she did, and how people snatched things out of her hands and cart as she was shopping. 
She continued to say how nice she was, and that's when she saw a girl take a picture of her mom's reenactment. 
That's when she threatened to break the girls wrists. 

Another woman told me that I should write a blog about how people are fighting for our country and people were fighting over clothes. 
Then she asked a Target member if there were any more scarves. 
You could say her style was a mix of: 
These colors don't run with a dash of 
but red, white, and blue aren't in my color palette and don't truly accent my resort chic outfit sooooo scarf plz. 

Word got around the store that there was a romper that got returned. 
I went to see the lone ranger, and although it was an XL, I didn't think I could pull off a tub top pants romper combo. 

I told one of the teens in the front with a cart and a half full of stuff that it was still back there. 
She looked at me and said, 
"It's an XL." 
She made XL sound like the foulest word you've ever heard. 
If you're a Parks and Rec fan I felt like I had been accosted by Mona Lisa:

The trip wasn't all bad...
Sara got a value sized box of trash bags and I got a $12 watch. 

#LillyforTarget turned into #LillyforTarGETMEOUTOFHERE real quick. 

For those who loaded up, congrats. 
For those who got scratched or bitten....get checked. 
And if you have a bunch of trash....Sara's your girl...she's got trash bags for dayz.

Apr 8, 2015

I have a question for you...

Can I send you some mail?
Not like creepy ransom letters or anything.
I save those for a special few
 (Justin Timberlake, Adam Levine, the cast of "Saturday Night Live," and John Goodman.)

This may seem a little odd (even for me)  but recently I've been finding a lot of joy in sending mail to people.
I love finding the perfect card and adding a little something extra inside.
Not like meth...more like a mix CD.

Yeah I know, it's 2015 and most people probably use their old cd's for coasters or mini frisbees, but I still love them.

CD making was an art form in high school and college.
It was up to you to include a solid 15-18 songs to keep your friends entertained.
It was also an excellent opportunity for you to impress said friends by belting out a high note, or proving that you were the greatest rapper alive (within the 2 or 4 doors of your car).

One of my favorite people to send mix CDs to is my friend Stef.
Here we are at her wedding...

We're close. I promise. 

I love to throw in some of my new favs she may not know, some oldies but goodies, and some terrible songs that I hope make her laugh on her longer commute home. 

Her call to me with her latest album review is also one of my favorite things. 
Sharing music is just a fun way to keep in touch with your biffs near and far. 

Knowing how much fun I have making them, paired with the fact that I recently read a YA novel (I'm 28), Eleanor & Park, where the main character made mix tapes for his awkward friend on the bus, I became inspired. 

I made a couple of playlists with different themes:

+Boy Band Jams

+TRL Jamz

+Sweatin' to the Oldies

+Hill People Music (country songs)

+First Dance Suggestions (probably not all serious suggestions)

+Modge Podge

I don't always buy the radio edit versions of songs (because I'm a rebel) so if you've got a sensitive ear--you've been warned. 

Trust that I'll include a track list with your CD. 
I don't want you getting in your car, cranking up the radio and then the sweet sounds of Ja Rule's raspy scream, scare your small child in the back. 

If you're interested in a little snail mail, email me at ohjonesblog@gmail.com and let me know:
+Your name
+ Your address
+ What playlist(s) you want

And I'll send them your way. 

Plus I'll be taking part in National Card and Letter Writing month which I love

I hereby solemnly promise not  to use your address for evil. 
I wouldn't even know how to start. 

And who knowsthis could crash and burn. 
Or it could literally lead you to finding the best song ever
See what I did there?

I'll see myself out.

Mar 19, 2015

March Madness

As a lot of you may already know, I work in a university setting. 
I'm constantly surrounded by cute hoodies, and sweatpants, t-shirts, and hats that scream team spirit. 
I love it. 
All of it. 
If I visit a different college campus or a friend gets a job at another university, I make a beeline for the bookstore during my first visit. 
College swag is my favorite. 

I'm wearing some now as I write this post. 

To be honest I never went to a ton of sporting events at the schools I attended. 
I didn't even really start getting in to college basketball until after I graduated.
Mainly because of my best friend Steve.
Tailgate Dancing....standard.
I believe his words were, "I will make you like college basketball."
Please don't tell him, because it will only boost his ego, but he was right. 

March Madness is about to be in full effect and I'm pumped about it. 
I pick my bracket less by the colors of the teams I like, and more about what I know about the actual team. 
What I'm telling you is that I should work for ESPNnnnnoknotreally. 

I plan on watching a lot of the games, and have always struggled with being able to pull off a fashionable ensemble for game watching. 

Recently this awesome company, Lillybee, reached out to help me be a little more fab and a little less "chicken wing eating contest chic" and provided me with some ADORABLE flats that will help me root for the team I like the most, the UVA Cavaliers. 
I know you're probably thinking: 
"Jones, what if they get knocked out it the first round?"

No biggie. 
The bows are clips and I can switch over to be Syracuse's number one fan. 

I love a lot of things about these flats: 

1. They are comfy as all get out.
I have the flattest widest feet ever which makes shoe shopping a real treat. 
When these arrived I was moonwalking around my apartment, they were so comfortable. 

2. I can wear them with a dress, if I'm going to watch the game at a local bar right after work. 

3. I can match them to my favorite UVA shirt and a cute pair of jeans, if I'm going to watch at Steve's house...or the closest place that has 38 televisions and delicious appetizers. 

Then when they win, I can commence my gloating moonwalk around him, in public, or not.
Doesn't really matter...he'll be irritated either way.

Lillybee doesn't only sell flats to rep your school, they sell wedges, rain boots, and carry clips that represent your sorority

This company is amazing--I mean Oprah featured them in her magazine. 
And everyone knows I roll with this philosophy:


Tell me--what team do you have winning the "Big Dance" this year?
What colors would you probably rock? 

Mar 16, 2015

Chris's Web

Well, the finale, or as I called it, the "Waiting for Whitney to Win" episode, came and went. 
Chris Harrison let us know that shit was about to go down. 
In fact he told us to buckle up. 
I was like dang this going to be a bumpy ride. 
Turns out it was a "click it or ticket" type statement because it was real bland trip to Iowa.
Chris walked through the snow pondering life's choices in shoes that people wear to work on Wall Street.
"My feet are freezing."
Whitney met the family first, and Chris greeted her standing in his driveway like Robocop.

Whitney then started her campaign....I mean date by letting Chris know how much she loved him before they walked in the door, and then every step they took after that. 

"Look into my eyes. I will find you."
I don't know if the family bought stock in Whitney's fertility clinic or what but Jesus all she had to do was walk in the door and they were throwing their underwear at her. 
Except for the dog. 
He gave zero f's. 

Whitney ended up giving the LOOOOONGEST speech ever about how badly she wanted a family and couldn't wait to call people "mom" and "dad" again.

At one point, I wasn't sure if she was attempting to become Chris's wife or his sister.

As the entire family starting making "Whitney is the Best" buttons,
Chris had to tell them that there was still one more girl coming to the house, and that they would like her a lot. 
The sisters arched their backs like angry cats and hissed until ABC was forced to go to a commercial.

Becca arrived with COOKIES because she's perfect....
and immediately you could tell that the family was just being nice to her.

Although she was so personable with them, and told stories, instead of just reading off index cards about why she was the best fit for the position Chris's heart.

Later she talked to Chris's mom Linda, who turns out is a literal angel sent from heaven. 
Becca tells her that she's never been in love before, and as Linda BRUSHES THE HAIR OUT OF BECCA'S FACE LIKE THE SWEETEST CARING WOMAN OF ALL TIME, she tells Becca it sounds like the feelings she have are love. 
Linda was my beacon of light. 

Perhaps she could beat it coax it out of Becca and make my dreams come true. 

After they met the family, Becca and Whitney had "last chance" dates where they did Powerpoint presentations as to why they were the best choice, and then Mark Cuban offered them money...wait nope that's "Shark Tank"...how weird that I got the two shows confused. 

Becca's last date had no effort whatsoever. 
It was essentially them sitting in her hotel room, talking about feelings.
It was the saddest last date on planet Earth.  

I think the hardest part was Chris asking her why she didn't feel in love with him. 
I was hoping that she would just mouth "Olive Juice" which looks like "I love you" and that would have been a solid enough compromise.

But she couldn't make herself say it, and it made sense. 
You've only know the dude for 2 months, and now you've gotta be cool with dropping everything and being 1000% in love. 
That's gotta be stressful, when you're a normal, funny, delightful human being. 
(It's been a week and I'm not over it...I'm sorry.)

Meanwhile Whitney's last chance date was on the farm.
The MOMENT Whitney got out of the car she started talking about how at home she felt. 
We get it girl. 
You're ready for it. 
He showed her his house and she loved it. 
He showed her the sunset and she loved it. 
He took her for a ride on the tractor and she loved it. 

He showed her the basement that he keeps drifters and hitch hikers that he's kidnapped in, and she loved it.

He could have shown her his super cool Dungeon and Dragons figurines and she would have pulled out some that she widdled out of bars of soap from the hotel bathroom. 
Literally everything he said or did she was 100% about.

At the end of that date it was clear who the winner was and I was i.r.r.i.t.a.t.e.d.

The final rose ceremony was in the barn that Chris raised his first pig. 
I was hoping so hard that his pig would be there, and that he would have coaxed his spider friend to write "Will you marry me?" in a web above the barn, but nope, nothing. 
"You want me to do what? Do you know the statistics for these relationships?"
My dreams continued to be crushed when Becca was the first to show up and get dumped. 
She was so great about it and said she understood. 
She told him that he was the reason why she was able to come out of her shell and she thanked him. 

Chris said he was devastated.
I then literally yelled at my computer, "YOU'RE DEVASTATED? I'M DEVASTATED, CHRIS."

(Side note: how long do you think it took them to make that barn look like that/did they install that stained glass window specifically for this event?)

Becca was pretty robot like in the care, but all in all took it like a champ. 

Whitney showed up and if she would have barfed, I wouldn't have been surprised. 
She was shaking so hard,  and blinking so much. 
When she talked it sounded like she was in a car going down a cobble stone road. 
Chris said a bunch of lame stuff, and ended with 
"I love you?"
Then he got down on one knee and proposed. 
Whitney, although, pleased that Chris picked out a ring, pulled out one that she had already purchased for herself, and put it on her own finger. 

Love is great. 

During the "After the Rose" ceremony, Chris Harrison tried to make Chris Soules tell everyone he wasn't over Becca. 
When that didn't work, he said things like,
"Becca was a lost cause," and "Becca couldn't feel love." 
Still no reaction from Chris.

When Becca came out Chris and her had a mature conversation which angered Chris Harrison. 
So much so that the threw a couple of fencing knives on the table and told them fight out their feelings. 
Not really but he was begging for some drama. 

Whitney came out later and they looked happy. 
So I will invest my time into their relationship on social media until they break up. 
Or throughout their marriage. 
Whichever comes first. 

They were given a cow by Jimmy Kimmel and that did cheer me up a little bit. 
Mainly because he named it Juan Pablo.

The final segment of the night was the Bachelorette announcement. 
Chris Harrison said that there were divisions so great across Bachelor nation, that they couldn't choose one Bachelorette....they had to choose two. 
Kaitlyn & Britt. 

I call bullshit. 
There is no way that people loved Britt so much, that they would want a whole season of this face:

But alas, we now have two Bachelorettes and I'm really conflicted on whether or not to watch. 

Here's why: the men get to choose which woman they want to date. 
The way they set it up it seems like two women go in and one woman comes out the season's Bachelorette based on the men's preference. 
What happened to picking specifically for the main contestant?
Why can't they pick for both women and follow both their stories?

Now these two ladies have to compete again, to then find a partner? 
That seems so lame and kind of degrading. 
How gross will one of them feel when they get rejected again on national television?
Kaitlyn even said it wasn't ideal, and honestly neither of them looked super pumped about the announcement. 
Alright maybe Britt did. 

The one saving grace is that the confusing Bachelor in Paradise is coming back this summer and Ashley S. is making her way to the island. 

I've never read "The Secret" but I heard that it's based on the theory that if you put something out into the universe enough it comes true. 
Here's what I'm putting out into the universe: 
I want Ashley S. to make a shark fin, wear it in the ocean, in the pool, on land, to scare everyone, and I want the "Jaws" theme music to play every time. 

Please make that happen ABC. 
And please make the right decision by giving Britt and Kaitlyn equal chances to make their choices. 

Another season down. 
What were your thoughts? 
What do you think about this new "twist"? 
Tell me errything.

Feb 25, 2015

Fantasy Suite: Sponsored by Ludacris

Well, we're down to the home stretch and much like every season that I get invested, I get a little bit nervous around this time.
Because Mondays become boring again and I just like doing hoodrat things with my friends on Twitter. 

You also know it's tropical vacation week because the ladies look like they showered in front of a  fog  machine in the middle of a rain forest, and the guys sweat like they've been doing karate in the garage for hours. 

Exhibit A: Kaitlyn

A lot of the date was them walking around Bali and getting attacked by the biggest small monkeys I have ever seen. 
Like they may have cracked a rib if they ran at Chris a little faster. 
Chris got peed on...ya know classic date stuff. 

They also met this stud.
All I need in this life of sin is me and my boyfriend. 

They talked about Kaitlyn being vulnerable and how she was so happy to be with him and how he was going to be a hard one to shake.
He tells her he's falling in love with her which is a new one.
But you know...there's no rules.
Then they got the fantasy suite card. 
It's always presented like an opportunity for them to spend all night together undistracted but I would like it a lot more if Ludacris presented the invitation with a 24 hr live performance of this song...
The first time it would be so exciting because Ludacris.

But the next two would be even better because he'd probably just throw the card on the table and be like "You know the drill, 24 hrs of me rapping, yall will make out, maybe more, who knows, it's up to you. Maybe you'll watch the couple episodes I was on "Law & Order: SVU" that messed with people emotionally. The world is your oyster.
Also there are oysters over there...aphrodisiacs and such."

The next date was with Whitney who is clearly already in her third trimester because all she does is talk about her children with Chris.
They gave the captain the go ahead and set sail.

I am the captain now.
Whitney talked/ate her hair and told Chris how much she loved hated her sister Kimberly.
Chris seemed pretty mellow the whole date not nearly as excited as he was with Kaitlyn.
He told her there were some sharks in the distance but not to worry about it.
Then he asked her to jump in the water.
Which they did.

Straight into a sharks mouth.
They were never seen again.

Just kidding.
They made it back to the Ludasuite.

Chris asked Whitney about her career and how she would deal with Arlington.
She said that her mom always told her to have something to fall back on but that she wanted to be a mom more than anything so she didn't care.
I was also afraid she was going to pull out a positive pregnancy test at that point because we get it...she wants a litter of children that are part Chris Soules.

The final date was with Becca.

She was rocking a very ambitious all black part pleather ensemble that made me sweat on my couch. 
But he took her around a farming area and explained things to her in the nerdiest/sweetest way. 
To me it seems very natural between the two of them. 
She seems like a funny down to earth girl WHICH IS WHAT CHRIS NEEDS IN HIS LIFE.
But I digress.

They go to a temple and talk to the medium of the village who tells them they should get it on.
Becca then barfed in her lap.
Maybe not literally. 
At one point Chris asked what her biggest weakness was as a person because he's romantic as hell. 
The medium actually quoted Miley Cyrus and said "She can't be tamed." 
He may be a medium but he is large into pop culture.
I'm not proud of that joke. 
But I am giggling at my computer. 

They talk a lot about Arlington and how she would need to be really sure about them to move there. 
Just because Whitney has already started a Babies R Us registry doesn't mean she's the obvious choice. 
She tells the camera that she has always said that she's waiting for marriage  but that she is pretty into everything that's happening so who knows. 
She tells Chris and he stares at her like this for about a minute.

During the time we all waited for his response I melted. 
My skin literally melted off.
I felt so uncomfortable for her. 
But he took it well (because she said she was a virgin not a witch) and they stayed the night together. 

The next day, Chris seems upset because he said that he and Becca had some conversations and he felt unsure about what happened. 
I immediately started panicking and yelling, "WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE?"
Because I've got a lot going on in my life.

He talks to the Godfather, Chris Harrison, who has been to so many tropical locations he no longer sweats...
and talks about how he doesn't know what he's going to do.
Harrison basically said, "Whatever dude. Cowabunga I'm going surfing," and was outta there.

At the rose ceremony Harrison leads Chris to a temple where they have a no kissing policy.
Harrison watches as his young jedi leaves to make a very hard decision about the rest of his life, 
while he stands there thinking about what's for dinner.

Before the rose ceremony starts Chris pulls Becca aside and Whitney and Kaitlyn try not to do a victory dance.

Apparently they weren't allowed to talk for a couple of days but basically Becca is crazy about Chris and really wants to be with him. 
He tells her he's crazy about her...which I took as "Becca you're my one true love."

Meanwhile Kaitlyn and Whitney are throwing themselves a parade because they believe they are the final two. 
Then their hearts fell to into their butts when Chris came back WITH Becca. 


He gives the first rose to Whitney, and the second rose to Becca. 

I know I started off this season really thinking she was the armpits but I felt so said for Kaitlyn. 
"Mother ffffffuuuuhh..."
Not only did he send her home but she had to walk up all those damn stairs. 
Sorry but I don't want to do cardio after being dumped on national television. 
Get me a jet pack and let me hover over land all the way back to Philadelphia, like a true women with class. 

When he walked her out he had nothing to tell her as to why she was the one who didn't get the rose. 
As a matter of fact he kept saying "this may be the wrong decision."
So that will comfort her on nights that she can't sleep. 
At one point a rooster crowed to lighten the mood....
But no one was laughing. 
Chris then sighed heavily for 2 minutes and cry sweated everywhere. 

Kaitlyn seemed really humiliated and I think that Chris not being great with words in tense situations probably didn't know what to do. 
There's a solid chance he was playing "eenie meanie miney mo" before he blurted out Becca's name.
Either way I have fully given up on my hatred of Canadian Kathy Griffin, and fully endorse her for the next Bachelorette. 
(But if there is more than one date where they rap at each other......so help me.)

In two weeks we are taken back to Iowa, and it looks dramatic. 
It looks like Whitney starts moving in, while Becca is like "yo dude can we figure out if we really love each other for a minute before I move here." 

Next week is Women Tell All and because these crazy biddies have been so entertaining all season I can't wait. 

What are your thoughts?
Are you #kaitlynforbachelorette like me?
Do you fall into the crew that thinks Becca is boring? 
(If so please turn a reflection paper in to me at ohjonesblog@gmaildotcom)