Jun 17, 2010

LAY OFF ME I'M STARVING

Hey. 
My name's Ashley and I love to eat. 
Since it's list week I bring you:
FOOD I WOULD PUNCH A BABY FOR!
To further explain this is the food that would literally cause me to punch a baby should it stand between me and said delicious awesome morsel.
Let's proceed. 
In my head when I type in such big font I imagine Rod Roddy from "Price is Right" introducing a new contestant. 

(R.I.P.)

Anyway.
The list.
*Ahem*

#7 Broiler Pizza

Broiler Pizza is this little place right in Arlington. It doesn't look like anything special from the outside but it is so good. It's thin crust and in a square and they put approximately 9 lbs. of cheese on their pizza. They also offer meatball as a topping.
Did I mention the meatballs were homemade?
Yes please.

Kevin James says exactly how I feel about eating pizza in a group best.
 (Around the 1:14 mark)
Panic truly sets in.


#6 Carousel Waterloo

My friend Bea introduced me to this little ice cream place in Warrenton, VA called Carousel. I didn't understand her desire to get ice cream from some place in VA when she was livin' the life in New York City.
Thennnn I went there.
They have this tasty treat on the menu called a Waterloo.
Get ready for your mind to be blown:
It's an ice cream sundae at the top and then a MILKSHAKE ON THE BOTTOM.
They have any flavor you could think of.
It was pretty intimidating the first time I ordered.
The intimidation may have caused me to wipe some sweat from my brow.
The teenager taking my order was judging me.
I got a some sort of cookies and cream concoction and it was amazing.
 The next time I'm going to be more adventurous with my order and trust:


#5 Macados Crazy Chris Wrap w/ chips and a pickle

I love buffalo chicken and wraps and ranch dressing and tomatoes and swiss cheese and if you put them altogether I'm a happy kid.
(I clearly would also love to have a heart attack based on those ingredients.)
We don't have Macado's in Northern Virginia and I miss it all the time.
Their menu is a scroll of sandwiches and appetizers.
It brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it.

#4  Aussie Cheese Fries 

There is 0 nutritional value in this pile of goodness.

Whenever we go to Outback I always beg Barb to order these fries.
She then says,
"Ash, if you get those you're not going to eat your dinner. Let's not ok?"
In response I suddenly morph into this:




Sometimes this outburst works in my favor.
Many times it does not.
Barb Jones does not take kindly to threats.

#3 My Mom's Chocolate Chip Pancakes

Yes folks my mom makes banging chocolate chip pancakes.
When it's announced that they are on the menu for Sunday breakfast I put on my eating pants and start stretching in preparation.
The last thing I need is to pull a muscle on a day such as chocolate chip pancake day. Generally with my pancakes comes eggs and super crispy bacon.
After this feast I lumber back to my room and sleep like a bear until dinner.
(I'm sure that revelation shocks you as I'm sure you thought I'd go on a run.)

#2 Cinnamon Rolls

These can be from Cinnabon, Costco, homemade or from a hobo and I will punt your child out of the way to eat one.
These are my kryptonite.
I can turn down donuts, I can even turn down most fried food (lately...we'll see how long it lasts), but if you put a cinnamon roll in front of me don't put your hands near my mouth because you will come back with a nub.
If you like ice cream might I suggest, Ben & Jerry's Cinnamon Roll flavor.
 I also suggest that after you eat you get tested for diabetes but trust it'll be worth it. 

#1 Uncle Julio's Rio Grande


I believe I've mentioned my love of Rio Grande before. 
I could eat there every day. 
Every.
Single.
Day.
I'm not kidding you when I say that I have had dreams about their queso. 
I warn my friends that have never eaten there with me before that things might get crazy. 
When I eat there I have the focus of one of those competitive eaters. 
I think my eyes glaze over and I just morph into this gobbling monster. 
It's intense. 
And awesome. 

Do you have food that you love so much it may pose a threat to those around you should they stand in your way?

Or is that just me? 

Love, 

Jonesy

18 comments:

  1. Today, my fellow intern Dan told me that the most fattening thing you could order at any restaurant were the fully loaded french fries (including chilli, which I'm not into). I promptly told him to LAY OFF ME, I'M STARVING and punch through my McDonalds fry container.

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  2. Reading your posts leave me happy :o) You're wonderfullll

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  3. Since we are here on the east coast I am going to say I would bunch 100 babies and 50 kittens for In-and-Out Burger. It is like losing your virginity with every bite, just thinking about it makes me..........oh shit, I have to go to the bathroom.

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  4. omgs. crazy chris!!!! can we take a trip to farmville just to get one.

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  5. spaghetti carbonara

    But don't make it the right way with pancetta and a cream sauce. Just cook eggs onto pasta by dumping a skillet full of bacon (with grease) right onto the spaghetti with beat eggs. Top with parmesan.

    Delicious, but about the worst thing for you possible. Carbs, check. Cholesterol, check. Saturated fat, check. Salt, check. Defibrillator, check. Awesomely good; oh yea!

    If Bobby adds this to the LI menu I will have to stop going there :)

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  6. OMG as soon as I started reading this I decided my #1 would be Outback's Cheesefries!!! I would punch many babies for some cheesefries mmmmmmm

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  7. can we talk about the french onion dip with chips at macados??? umm YUM!!!

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  8. i have to say muligans cheese fries on a drunk thursday night are fabulous. (my judgement may be swayed due to pitchers upon pitchers of natty light.

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