Oh Jones...: You Like Me You Really Like Me!

I'm feeling a little like Sally Field today.

(It's Oscar Weekend so go with the reference)

I mean not to toot my own horn or anything but I totally have a new blog bff.

We're one step away from friendship bracelets.

Her name is Alyssa and you can find her fantastic blog here.

She awarded me with my first blog award.

Honestly it was just an honor to be nominated by my peers.

(Can you tell I love award shows? Because I DOOOOO)

After I gave my acceptance speech to my one stuffed animal I got to thinking about my facts.

Seeing as I drop embarassing nuggets about myself all the time I had to rack my brain for 7 random things

about myself.

Yet some how I managed.

Let us begin.

1. When I was little my former roommate/ mom Barb Jones used to work for Time Life. They did a series of books for kids and they used to ask employees children to model for the pictures.

As this was before my awkward stage my mom volunteered me.

I was in a book called "Simple Experiments"

Technically I was promised the cover, but instead I got the title page.

I'm not saying I was a diva but I did 3 outfit changes that day AND played with a sundial for like an hour.

I also recall having to bring my own snacks.

Rude.

These are the jerks that got the cover.

I could have totally rubbed a balloon on my head better.

I was just never given the opportunity.

I was robbed.

Robbed I tell ya.

Here is my shot:

Look how confused I am.

Science is hard.

Notice I'm sitting cross legged in a skirt.

I was pulling a Britney Spears way before she was skankin' it up in cars in Hollywood.

After Barb Jones reads this she will point out that it was a skort but I don't care.

I was a lady then and I'm a lady now.

2. I refuse to play charades. I hate them. I think it's a stupid game.

When would you be in a situation where you would have to mime a movie title?

You wouldn't.

I hate games like Cranium because you can pull a charades card.

I pulled that effing card once and I had to mime

"Jim Carrey."

I did this face:

It was not well received.

Then I yelled out BIG TEETH.

And they immediately knew who I was talking about.

I'm not the Little Mermaid.

I didn't lose my voice to an octopus under the sea.

So I'm gonna go ahead and continue to use it in game playing situations.

Not to continue to harp on it but EVEN IF the love of my life asks me to play charades with him I will kick him in the shin and break up with him.

That's not true I'm 24 and single I can't afford that kind of move.

But I will shin kick.

That I promise.

3. I was on a bowling league when I was about 8.

I bowled every Saturday morning with my best friend Jessy.

Our team went on to be the 5th best team in the state of VA.

No there were not only 5 teams.

There were 100.

We were awesome.

In fact we now hustle our friends when they ask us to go bowling.

We feign interest and then rack up the pins.

Us 1 billion years later.

4. I stole chalk from my 1st grade teacher for like 2 months before my mom found out and my jig was up.

Her name was Ms. McKee.

She would line us up by the chalkboard every day before we were dismissed and every day I would see the brand new chalk pieces she would have on the ledge.

I had my own chalk board at home on which I would color, teach my stuffed animals math problems, you know the usual only child after school activities.

Why would I ask Barb for them when I could just snatch the ones right near my fat sausagey little hands.

So, everyday I would carefully ease up to the board and ever so gently put the chalk in my pocket.