May 21, 2011

The Rapture

Many of you know from a previous post that I have been scared of the rapture for some time. 
Many of you also know that I'm afraid the rapture is going to look like the sand monster from Aladdin:

Rational fears. 
I do not want the rapture to come. 
Nor do I think it will. 
If it does things will suck for sure. 
A lot of my friends have been making it known that they have plans. 
For instance my blog buddy Ablyssa  has a mini bucket list of things to do before the end of the world.

I do too:
I would like to move to Philly as scheduled on Sunday.

I would like to graduate from grad school. 

I would like to meet/ become best friends with Tina Fey.

I would like to go on a date with a normal guy who doesn't have hairy mitten hands or a laugh so loud and terrible that it can be heard from 4 states away. 
(That's a story for another day)

I would like to crochet a stuffed animal. 
(I realize that goal severely interferes with the preceding one...but let's move on)

I would like to have my own dog.

I would like to have the blog reach 200 followers. 

So although last April I was severely concerned about the rapture I'm convincing myself that this is not happening. 
The dude that did the calculations thought it was going to happen in 1994. 
He was wrong. 

What did happen in 1994 that no one saw coming was this: 

and this:

Being Baby Bop as an 8 year old in a dance recital is the rapture to your social life but not the world. 

However, to cover my bases I didn't want the rapture to come and go without sharing these precious nuggets of the past. 

You're welcome. 
Also if by some chance the rapture does come tomorrow and I see you on the street and you have some sort of food in your hand-- I will take you out for it. 
There will be no more nice Oh Jones
It's every heifer for themselves on these streets. 
And I'm just letting you know that I have watched a lot of shows about prison and gangs. 

I think what I'm trying to say is that I have knowledge of the streets but literally no way to put that knowledge into action as I was once Baby Bop in a dance recital. 

Now I must go and prepare for the end of the world by watching 
"Behind the Music: Usher"
They are called priorities and I have them. 

God Speed. 


  1. I feel so much better now :)