Oh Jones...: Minding your p's and q's

To be quite honest I don't know what the "q" stands for in that saying but I am aware it has something to do with manners.

Which as many of my friends will tell you, I have a ton of.

Kind of.

Let's continue...

I listen to a lot of music and sometimes I like to break down the lyrics to what they are truly saying.

I think we've all done it.

I've had numerous conversations with my friends about the song "Grenade" by Bruno Mars.

I'm glad you'd throw your hand on a blade for me, but honestly Bruno, I'd like you to stop taking me to establishments where knife fights are so prevalent.

You think I'm smiling to your face Bruno and then ripping the brakes out of your car?

Well point your finger elsewhere friend because I wouldn't even know where to begin to do that.

And also if your body was on fire, I would tell you to stop, drop, and roll.

Not watch you burn down in flames.

Give me some credit.

Lately I've heard a couple of songs where although the lyrics are fairly inappropriate, they use their manners before explicitly telling you what they wish to do.

For example: "Give Me Everything Tonight" by Pitbull and Neyo

He says, "Excuse me,"

(how polite)

Then he goes on to say,

"I might drink a little more than I should tonight..."

(Thanks for the warning...call a cab should things get crazy)

He proceeds...

"I might take you home with me if I could tonight, because we might not get tomorrow."

(Ok, first, I was impressed by your polite, Excuse me, however now I'm getting a little creeped out. Why won't we get tomorrow? Are you potentially going to murder me? Is this quickly turning into a kidnapping situation? I'm now concerned. Your manners now sound insincere. Seriously why can't you promise me tomorrow? Do you know something I don't?)

Enrique Iglesias has that song "Tonight I'm Loving You"

We all know there's another title.

If you don't:

Replace loving with the word that sounds like ducking but take off the d and add an f.

It's a riddle.

Complex yet profound.

Ok that's a stretch.

He says

"Here's the situation been to every nation..."

(Really? All of them? I'd like to see your passport.")

He continues...

"Nobody's ever made me feel the way that you do..."

(Oh well that is nice of you...I didn't know you felt that way...I'm truly honored by that please excuse my passport comment...do go on sir.)

Then...

"You know my motivation..."

(For a future together?)

"Given my reputation..."

(As far as I know your reputation is that of being one's hero)

"Please excuse me I don't mean to be rude,"

(Oh not at all! These are very nice things you are saying. I feel the same. Since you got rid of that huge mole I'm definitely in to seeing where this is going....)

"But tonight I'm f#$*'in you."

(Well I did not see that one coming...)

Just because you start off politely, if you end with something profane, it doesn't make it OK.

I mean I laugh hysterically

and applaud the effort,

but still--rude.

I leave you with the following clip to really drive home my point: