Dec 22, 2011

I just thought she was being polite...

I've been doing a lot of driving lately and as you know I have the most random thought bubbles that occur when I'm on the road. 

When I have these driving thoughts (DTs) I like to think I look like JD from Scrubs when he's day dreaming:

Buttttt
I know that I actually look like this:
I have come to terms with it. 

Here are my recent gems that I have been thought or even muttered out loud to no one but myself:
  • Shouldn't the Grape family,  from one of the best movies of all time "What's Eating Gilpert Grape?"gotten in a lot of trouble for burning their house down with their mom still inside? That seems like a pretty big insurance claim. 
  • I do the TLC shoulder shrug dance a lot...
  •  
  • Why did I buy so many Beanie Babies? 
  • Do board meetings at Kohls get weird because Marc Anthony & JLO both have clothing lines there? Is it a "mommy and daddy are fighting at the dinner table" kind of vibe?
  • Why did Jennifer Lopez agree to make those car commercials?
  • Does Jennifer Lopez have a driver's license?
  • I wonder what Halle Berry is doing this minute?
  • Will my dreams of ever becoming a famous person's funny side kick come true?
  • What if the premise behind Toy Story is real?
It's scary what goes on in my brain space...I know.

My other favorite thing to do is analyze songs. 
On the way home for break the other day my friend Adam and I analyzed the "Thong Song"
Sisqo was really passionate about a piece of underwear. 
I mean there was a string section (no pun intended) and everything. 
He really wanted to get the message out that barely there underwear was where it was at. 
Respectable to go out and speak for your cause. 
However, sometimes my analysis really brings new light to a song's meaning.
For instance, I was riding in my car with my bff Sara and a song by the musical genius of the newly engaged Britney Spears,
"Hold it Against Me," was on.
As I was singing along it came to me!

When she says:
"If I said my heart was beating loud
If we could escape the crowd somehow
If I said I want your body now
Would you hold it against me"
She is not asking the fine gentleman, if he would think she was being impolite for saying she wanted his body...
She's literally asking him to hold his body against her. 

I thought that I had uncovered a riddle. 
I was so excited by my discovery that I yelled to Sara, 
"OH MY GOD DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE'S REALLY SAYING? SHE'S ASKING HIM TO HOLD HIS BODY AGAINST HER! NOT WOULD HE METAPHORICALLY HOLD IT AGAINST HER BECAUSE SHE'S BEING KIND OF SKANKY!"

Sara then said, 
"Duh Ashley. It's called a double entendre"

I don't speak French...but I do know that Britney is a sneaky (albeit clever) lady of the night. 


Sara really couldn't believe that after months of being on the radio I didn't understand the true meaning of the song. 

I told her not to be too surprised as up until recently I thought that the Spice Girls song "When 2 Become 1" was about being really good friends. 

Apparently I needed a clearer message than, 
"Are you as good as I remember baby, get it on, get it on
'Cause tonight is the night when two become one"

I mean I honestly thought that they were just 5 girls singing about being besties. 

So well played Spices. 
&
Well played Spears. 
Well played indeed.

11 comments:

  1. hahaha. I love the Spice girls. And I would now like to listen to their greatest hits album, thank you for that jonesy.

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