If you were my boyfriend...

So here's the deal.

I've been listening to that Justin Beiber song "Boyfriend" on repeat for about two weeks.

However, Sara, Joe & I sing "BOYFRANNNNN"

It spices it up.

At one point in the song J. Biebs says he would be my Buzz Lightyear and fly me around the globe.

I find that to be an extremely generous offer.

And Justin, I accept.

But listening to this song got me thinking: 
If Justin or anyone for that matter was my boyfran he should know some things about me.

So I made a list.
Sure most of these things are based primarily on what I've seen on TV and in movies but that is generally where a lot of my relationship knowledge stems.

Let's proceed.

Future boyfran please note the following:

Wait until you are 100% sure you're in love with me before you take me to a Mexican restaurant. What you will see there is truly disturbing. My eyes glaze over, I become very serious, I consistently monitor chip and salsa levels. I mean business. It's not always pretty.

 Don't be fooled by my sombrero...this is serious.


If we get in a fight and you want to win my love back do not wake me up by playing the same song over and over again thru a boom box lifted over your head. Although I will be impressed by your amazing upper body strength I will not appreciate being woken up. I really like sleeping. Like think of a bear hibernating...and then multiply that by 100. 

That's me.

 Uncalled for

If you write a song for me, and sing it to me in an intimate setting I will laugh. It can't be helped. I'm not proud of it but it gives me the creeps and I can't handle it. This goes for poems as well. I will however, accept you serenading me while I'm at soccer practice.

Encouraged

 

 If you ever get an inkling to buy me a wall. Do it. I'll love you forever. 

Best TV Couple Ever. 

 And finally I may ask you to lift me like we're in Dirty Dancing. I may beg you even. But no matter how hard I cry, or tell you it is my life long dream to recreate that magical movie moment, do not cave. We will not look like this:

Or this:

We will look like this and everything will then be ruined:

Tragic. But true. 

 

 Thank you and I look forward to our first date.