I'm All In...

Since graduating I haven't had a whole lot going on. 

I've essentially just been reading and watching TV. 

Or going on casual lunches with my dad. 
we find ourselves to be highly entertaining...

or baiting my friends into text singing (it's a new craze) "Call Me Maybe" with me

Got him.

So you can imagine my excitement when I remembered that
"The Bachelorette" started again on Monday. 

After being so annoyed with Ben on "The Bachelor" my expectations were totally low. 

I don't know much about Emily except that she has a daughter named Ricki. 
I would be lying to you if I didn't silently chant, 
"Go Ricki! Go Ricki!" a la the Ricki Lake Show every time her name was mentioned. 

My initial thought is that Emily is nice and she has good hair. 
She bares no resemblance to an aardvark. 
All signs point to pleasant. 

I have a rule of not getting invested in any of the female contestants early on because a lot of them look the same and/or will end up being crazy eventually so I just wait it out. 

However, I find it much different with the men. 
Maybe it's because I put myself in Emily's shoes...because clearly we are very similar.
Maybe it's because the majority of them are incredibly attractive. 
I don't know but I'm all in on some of these guys already. 
Which can only lead to heart break. 

My absolute favorite from last night was Charlie: 
 But seriously. 

He's got a bulldog and suffered a traumatic brain injury. 
Marry me. 

When she gave him a rose last night I fist pumped into the air like I just won a wing eating contest.
Too much too soon Jones. 
I need to pump the brakes. 
I didn't see him in a lot of the previews for this season so I have a feeling that he will be back on the market soon enough and he and I and his precious bull dog can start our lives together. 

Let's move on to some of the other dudes that stood out. 

 Kalon, Douche Extraordinaire. 
He came in a helicopter. Which I was HOPING was going to be piloted by Ben or at least one of the other ladies from last season. 
It was very "Fifty Shades of Grey" and also gross.
Jef with one f. 
At first I was not a fan. He sells bottled water.
 For every bottle he sells he also gives one away for free to people in need. 

Dan & I were not having it. 

I have been trying to come up with a joke about him giving the other "f" in his name away. A kind of "Wheel of Fortune" type deal...but I have given up. Your suggestions are encouraged. 
Let's make this joke happen you guys! 

He ended up winning me over for just being adorable. So hopefully he sticks around. 

This guy with the egg
I was convinced the entire time a baby t-rex was going to hatch in her hands. 
The best part about that whole prop was that he had to carry it the entire rose ceremony. 

There are no words. 
Just feelings. 

Thumb ring
I was glad to see him go. 

He's no Charlie but I don't hate it. He's got a kid so that helps his cause. He seems to be a crier which makes me a little nervous but I'm mildly invested. 

Although he came in dancing like the WB Frog he is very cute and look forward to staring at his face for at least one more week. 

And just because here is the WB Frog:

and finally 

He's a party MC so clearly he is prepared to help Emily raise her child. 
As well as rock the mic. 
He's also the biggest gossip of all the guys. 
I believe he is the Jenna of this season. 
Fingers crossed he ends up crying in an abandoned room somewhere. 

Most of the introductions were extremely cheesy and painful.
Joe, although having committed to the season, grew concerned with his dating techniques. 
No buddy, you're not. 

Should be a good season.
I'm excited for it.


  1. yes. Im stoked that you are back on track with your tv updates :) I love your recaps more than the actual shows :)

    Also I miss you and your dad!!!!

  2. thank you, thank you for the WB frog comment.

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