Oct 24, 2012

Sick in the City

This weekend was tons o' fun. 
My best friend since 3rd grade Jessy got murrrried y'all. 

It was a blast. 
Steve was my date
That's not a prop from the photo booth but the size of his actual hand. 
It's weird, but we don't talk about it. 

Also can we check out how cute my niece is?
This is Leila in the middle of a dance circle breaking it down. 
If you don't want to just squeeeeeeeeeeeeze her I don't know what to tell ya. 

After an awesome time, I came back to Philly on Monday. 
As the day went on I start feeling super sluggish and really gross. 
The next morning I woke up and the hangey ball thing in the back of my throat (I believe that's the scientific term for it)  was touching my tongue. 

Sexy right?

Turns out I have strep. 
I will live to see another day. 

However, I have laying on my couch for the past 48 hours and I have made some observations, which I will share with you now. 
1. Being sick brings out my inner beauty. 
Please observe the natural glow that surrounds me:
To confirm, that is a natural glow, and not the light from my ceiling fan. 
2. I've been leaving the windows open to air out the germs. 
This is what Barb Jones does, and since she's my mom and I think everything she does it right I do it too. 
Yes I'm 25. 
What I have heard from students walking past has been truly mind blowing. 
The number of dudes that walk by just farting and burping, make me want to keep a piece of paper with my phone number hanging out there. 
Call me gentleman.
I also witnessed this conversation, 
"I remember the exact time and place that I was when Jeremy and I started dating. Like the exact time and place."
I wanted to yell out, "I REMEMBER WHERE I WAS THE FIRST TIME I HEARD ABOUT UNLIMITED SOUP, SALAD, AND BREAD STICKS BUT YOU DON'T HEAR ME BRAGGING ABOUT IT."
But I refrained, because my voice is scratchy. 
It was February of 97 in case you were wondering. 

3. My hatred of Kim Kardashian has increased ten fold because of her recent instagram. 
She posted this pic with the caption, "I just wish I could stay in my sweats all day long."
Because when I stay home in sweats I make sure to pull them down just over my butt hump, and am most definitely wearing a bra. 
Sike. I'm layered in tshirts and sweat pants laying on my couch watching Law & Order SVU reruns. 
NO ONE LOOKS LIKE THAT WEARING SWEATS IN REAL PEOPLE LIFE.
NO ONE.
NO.ONE.

4. The worst thing to happen to a person while laying in their own germy self pity is to see the wedding pictures of the man you love.
I will now have to crawl through the streets of Filet to get this People Magazine. 
 Then crawl home and weep over the pictures silently whispering, "That was supposed to be me."

And with that I bid you adieu. 
I'm now going to watch my main girl Ellen.
But first I must turn over so I don't get bed sores from laying on this couch for so long. 


12 comments:

  1. "Because when I stay home in sweats I make sure to pull them down just over my butt hump" Yes.

    I too am in love with Justin Timberlake. It's a sad day for both of us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Together we shall cry him a river....no? too much?

      Delete
  2. Feel better jones! I think Ellen has Taylor on this week

    ReplyDelete
  3. I didn't know jt got married. You are my source for all things Hollywood!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm sorry, I don't want to be critical of people who are famous for absolutely no talent whatsoever, but is KKardashian FORREAL?? Does she really think she is coy and awesome? Cause I just threw up in my mouth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is literally the PITS. No one does that. And no one wears a bra and sweat pants at the same time. It's sacrilegious.

      Delete
  5. Now that I'm calm, what I really came here to say is that I hope you feel better soon, and I think YOU are the coy and awesome one for making everyone else laugh while you are suffering from strep throat.

    ReplyDelete
  6. 1.) Criminal Intent kicks SVU's Kim Kardashian, 2.) I'm so disappointed, JT, 3.) Hope you feel better soon!

    ReplyDelete
  7. 3 things for ya Joneys
    1. get better soon
    2. it was awesome to see you last weekend
    3. i unfollowed/stopped following Kim K on instagram for that exact reason. She was blowing up my instagram feed left and right. I couldnt handle it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I don't know why everyone is so up in arms over KKardash's sweat outfit. She is doing the sagging thing totally wrong. Joke's on you KK, your supposted to have your sweats down to your knees. DUH!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I had decided that I would just silently creep on all of your posts without commenting. When I began to weep from laughing, I decided that I needed to publicly stalk.

    I know the sweatpants + bra = WTF, but can we talk for a moment about the outfit carcasses strewn strategically about on her floor? They're still wearing hangers. It makes me feel uneasy.

    -Danielle
    http://littlebitofwowe.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete