Last night I was real tired.
The kind of tired where going to bed at 7:30 seemed acceptable.
Then I remembered:
PEOPLE ARE GETTING NAKED ON THE BACHELOR.
So I changed into Bach uniform:
sweats, t-shirt, robe, ponytail & glasses.
You may be thinking, "but Jones isn't that also your Hoarders, Storage Wars, 30 Rock, Lifetime Movie marathon uniform too?"
No silly goose.
I don't wear a robe when I watch those shows.
As I settled in I was pretty confident in my fantasy team:
My bonus pick (who was gonna get the boot) was Elyse.
I was still pretty confused about who she was and why she was still there.
I picked my girl Kacie (duh.) and Jamie & Jennifer because they had been some of his favorites.Especially Jennifer.
Honestly she was becoming my solid second choice.
Which was a conflict of interest for me because her fake red hair still qualified her as a Ging...and they make me nervous.
I've decided that my favorite part of the show is the 3 seconds that Chirs Harrison shows up to give the girls the 411 about the next few days.
He can not get out of there fast enough.
It cracks me up:
"Yo girls. We're in Puerto Rico, everyone gets a date, blah blah blah, roses, stuff, things, blah blah. Imma go get a tan. Later skanks."
The first date of the episode started with Ben and Nikki.
Naturally he picked her up in his helicopter.
Those girls are going to be real disappointed when he rolls up to their house in his 2008 Jetta for the rest of their real dating lives.
Because they were soaked the had to go get new outfits.
This is what Ben chose:
I mean I don't know why he's held out for so long to tell us he was heir to the KFC throne.
And "convinced" Ben to go skinny dipping.
They stripped down and she threw her cute little training bra into the wind and it was flirty.
And I was pissed.
Not because she was skankin' it up.
Because she threw her bra and it looked cute and dainty.
My bras could be attached to a sailboat and bring it thru a storm.
There is no de-clothing that would make me look remotely attractive.
And for that I hate her even more.
After the whole shabang,
"I think I'm winning."
I'm not an expert but:
Paper covers rock.
Rock beats scissors.
NAKED GETS A ROSE.
DUH YOU'RE WINNING.