More things & stuff

So my two internet frangs Chalayn & Heather tagged me in two really cool blog awards/things...
I have a gift with words.

Chalayn (who made it possible for you to grab a button of my face) tagged me in the "5 Things" post that has been going around the interwebz.

I know I've told you a couple random things about me in the past but because I'm a freak I found it pretty easy to find 5 more to divulge to you.

1.If there was one pet that I could have over any other pet it would be a sloth.

They sleep a lot, move real slow, and are furry.
They also have fantastic nails
And I feel like they'd protect me in a dark alley situation:

2. There is one song that makes my skin literally crawl.
It is "Fidelity" by Regina Spektor

It makes me so angry I'm pretty sure that it was implanted in my brain via Mugatu from Zoolander.

3. When I was little I was allowed to make my own afternoon snacks. Because the only thing I knew how to use in the kitchen was the microwave that is what I used to make anything and everything.
You don't think an English Muffin can get crispy in a microwave you say?
Well you're right but it was still delish.
The amount of time I spent in front of those waves has probably given me a weird fin that I don't know about but whatever...totally worth it.

4. Although I would tie Adam Levine's girlfriend to the train tracks in order for me to be his boothang, (because I'm an old timey villain) my true dream dude has always been Chandler Bing.
He gets me.

5. I want a Dyson vacuum so bad it hurts.
They look so cool and that British dude that makes them seems so nice.
At this point I'm going to stage a marriage just so I can register for that bad boy.

And there you have it 5 things you can't unlearn about me.

Heather then gave me the Liebster Award.
I had to look it up because I wasn't quite sure what it was...apparently it's a German word that means favorite.
And the award is meant to encourage upcoming bloggers to keep going...
First of all the fact that Heather even thought of me is bananas.
I'm shocked anyone reads this let alone enjoys it.
So thanks Heather.
You the best gurl.

I'm sorry. 
I'll never type like that again.

Anyway as part of the award you're supposed to answer the eleven questions from the person who nominated you.

Let's proceed:

1) Fav Current Song
Mirrors - Justin Timberlake. 
Yes. Still. 
Every day about 400 times.
2) Most powerful lesson you've learned in your life.
You can't lower your standards to make someone else happy. 
--Tim Jones
Bright dude. 
3) A food you hate and why
 I wouldn't say I hate it but I don't really like sushi...mainly because it's not french fries or nachos....and I love french fries and nachos. 

4) Most misunderstood thing about you
 When I was in middle school I used to wear those athletic tear away pants. People thought they were a part of a basketball uniform I owned. 
They misunderstood.
I wore them purely for comfort.

5) Kid Rock or Michael Buble. (don't you dare look appalled)
 My dad went thru a Kid Rock phase.
Meaning, he would pick me up from the library blaring "Cowboy" from the mini van. 
Now that I can drive myself places, I prefer the Bubs. 

6) Most embarrassing moment
 I do so many embarrassing things I've stopped ranking them...
But maybe this: 

7) If you could write anything you wanted on a billboard, what would it be?
 Treat Yo Self

8)  Should Richard Simmons cut his hair, and if so, which style would you recommend? (you may include a picture)

 Mr. Clean bald. 

9) Something you've always wished for

 I wish for a lot of things but I think what I wish for the most lately is to have the perfect napping couch to call my own.

10) If there was a onesie for adults, would you wear it? Why not?
 I have a onesie. So yes.

11) God exists. What would you want to hear Him say when you  arrive at the pearly gates? - (remixed James Lipton quote)

Welcome to Heaven. To your left is an unlimited supply of diet pepsi and chips and salsa/ your right a box full of puppies to play with forever. 


  1. You've probably seen this, but I felt obligated to share just in case you haven't. I've seen this about 14,000 times & it never gets old!!

    LOVE your blog so much! You make me laugh til I pee a little!

    1. I love that video! She's such a muffin.

    2. Can I admit that I feel kinda rock star that you replied to my comment??!! I know that outs me as a loser, but hey, it is what it is. Please keep writing forever b/c you are the highlight of my week!
      And yes, Kristin Bell is so adorbs!

  2. Thank you for the invitation to the wedding of you and That British Guy. My +1 and I will attend with pleasure. Honestly, I was holding out hope for you and Adam (or JT. Or JTT), but I still think you two will be very happy together. Unfortunately when I got married I didn't realize how nice a Dyson would be and I was gifted an Oreck - which is lightweight, powerful, and easy-to-use.

    Thanks for doing the Five Things! ;)

    1. P.S. I hope you wear your shark onesie on your honeymoon.

  3. You are THISCLOSE to being my Sister Wife. I loves all things Short Creek/Juniper Creek, so this should be a compliment, not creepy. Either way, if you ever come to Ohio, we need to hang out in our one piece PJs. I have this It's not shark footies, but it is super comfy AND has a butt flap.

    Also, I was in LA this week and looked for Sean, but no luck.

  4. Thanks for never ever letting me down. I think maybe someone should nominate you for something every single day so you will have to blog every. single. day. I'll see what I can do.

  5. Oh Jonesy, you're the greatest. Don't forget it. EVARRRRR.

  6. I agree with Angie let's come up with something we can nominate her for everyday! You are hilarious!!!


  7. Oh damn, I almost puke-laughed over the sloth! You have a certain genius.
    I am shocked and impressed at your shark sleeper. The dorsal fin is especially charming and I hope useful at places like the local toddler pool:)
    PS Crap, the Liebster is for upcoming bloggers?! Well that's not embarrassing. Since, like, I am very new and you are not.
    Anyway!! Thanks for humoring me!!

  8. just started reading you enjoying your blog. One question, Why diet pepsi, surely in heaven you could have the full sugar awesomeness? And I have a dyson, I do love it. Cheers

  9. I feel like this would be the perfect time to tell you that I once had a mini anxiety attack and had to be carried over the front row metal barriers at a Kid Rock concert by massive security men circa 2000 (a fat girl's worst nightmare - having to be picked up by anyone). So yeah, Buble all the way. I'm glad we see eye to eye on that since I have a serious case of BAWITDABAWWWWWDABANGDABANGDIGGYDIGGYDIGGYYYY PTSD.

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