The Biggest Loser

I feel like I've been in a bit of a life rut lately.
Not in a what am I doing with my life/ why am I here kind of rut...but a
Why am I treating every meal like it's a wing eating contest kind of rut.

In the past I have written a little bit about how it's hard to be motivated for me to go to the gym.
I've written about how I love food a little too much.

The last thing I want to do is whine about having body image issues when a lot of people have similar issues but get up and do something about it.

That's what I'm struggling with the most.
How do I become one of those people who gets up and does something about it?

I've been able to do Weight Watchers for awhile and then I literally watch as my weight goes back to where it was before.
(See what I did there?)

If there is a cookie offered to me at any point in time I will eat it---even if I'm not hungry.
Because it's a cookie, and I don't want that cookie to think it's not good enough.
What if that cookie has a family it needs to support?
You're saying to yourself--But Jones that makes no sense.
Well it does to me when I'm chomping on that whole cookie clan.
I don't want to be why the cookie economy goes down the tubes.
I don't want that on my conscious.

I celebrate with food.
I eat when I'm upset.

I so badly want to be that person that wants to go for a run when they've had a bad day at work.
I'm tired of being the person who eats a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos on their couch watching the latest Tivo'd "Ellen" episode.

I don't want to feel extra crummy about myself when I see my friends celebrating their happy lifestyles and their own weight loss.
I also don't want to toast their fitness triumphs with an actual piece of toast anymore.

I want to not think that life without diet soda is a life that isn't worth living.
I want to understand what it means to eat clean.
I'm assuming that doesn't mean eating straight after a bath but I've been wrong before...

It shouldn't be a long thought out process whether or not you want to get fit.
 I just want this time to stick so bad.

The only time I remember staying with a routine was when I had something to work towards.
Sure I'm always working towards wearing only Beyonce leather "Single Ladies" leotards to work Monday thru Friday but I needed a more attainable goal.

Two years ago my biff fo life Sara and I ran a 5k for a cupcake.

We worked hard for it to and I can remember how proud we were of ourselves when we finished it.
So we promised each other that we would sign up for the Wicked 10k in Virginia Beach this October.
We shook on it &
I feel like if I blog about it then it makes it real.

It also puts it out into the universe that I'm ready to start feeling better about myself.
Adam Levine won't enjoy dates if they only consist of me crying into my Olive Garden bread sticks.

Yes in my dreams of dates with Adam Levine we go to Olive Garden.

I'm lucky that I have some really supportive friends in my life because they keep telling me it will.

My friend Kim said, "Do you want to run?"
My answer was, "Yes."
Her response, "Then you'll do it."

My best friend Sara K. has been an amazing cheerleader and understands what it means to have 5 points left for the day but a 30 point kinda hunger monster lurking in belly.
She has offered to be my support system so many times and now I'm finally taking her up on it.

 I'm giving myself permission to be flustered, to mess up, to be OK with where I am now but also understand that in order for me to look like an "after" photo I can't and won't give up on myself.

I know that I don't usually write about heavy stuff (no pun intended) but I just thought that I needed to find a place to hold myself accountable and for some weird reason, writing it on the world wide web seems like to be the perfect way to do just that.


  1. You're awesome, Jonesy. You're going to rock the crap outta this!

  2. you can do it! go you!

  3. Dude, I totally know what it's like to eat an entire box of oreos because if I only eat one the rest of them feel left out. I need to grow some discipline and I need to grow it quick. Ugh.

    1. Morgan...if you leave the cookies alone...I'll leave them alone too....for now.

  4. When i was losing weight, there were days I went to bed at 7 or 8pm because I was hungry and just wanted the day to be over. I had a huge problem with portion control and I began my journey by just cutting all my meals in half. I only ate half of everything. It sucked. But once my stomach shrunk it wasn't so bad. Also, your friend is right, if you have a goal, it's so much easier to make yourself run. I mapped out a 10k course and ran/walked it every day until I could run the whole thing. It helps you see your progress. If you ever want to talk about it girl, I totally understand!

    1. You're the best Emily. That's such a good plan. I'm also going to be one of those people who always has leftovers because I'm going to box it up right away. That's an excellent idea.

  5. You inspire me and I can't wait to see what you accomplish!!

    Also, do you know the militant baker?? Google her... I've really enjoyed the little bit of her that I've read recently.

    1. Jamie, you're really too nice. I don't know how I can inspire anyone but thank you so much. I'm going to check out the militant baker ASAP!

  6. You are so awesome Jonesy! We will be cheering you and Sara on!!

    I wake up every morning craving cupcakes and consider driving an hour to my favorite place, Sprinkles. And I'm stress eating queen and that's never going away, in my estimation. But where I used to fall asleep in a sugar coma after brunch, lunch, and dinner, I've stopped doing that.

    The most helpful thing for me has been to eat the following foods (this is courtesy of J.oel Fuhrma.n): oatmeal, greens, beans, onions, mushrooms, berries, and nuts/seeds. Not sure why these are magical, but every time the man comes on pbs/dr.oz, I dvr it.

    1. I took the most epic nap after brunch last weekend. Like a nap most bears would be jealous of. I'm going to check JF out too. Thanks!

  7. I'll be your cheerleader!!!! I love WW, and I try to keep to my points 5 days a week, then eat two cheat meals (usually dinner on Wed and dinner on Sat) and I will consistently lose weight. I also love to exercise (really) because it makes me feel so good and gets me away from my 5 kids (kidding. sort of.) I try to tell myself that I always feel lousy after I eat too much crap and that helps sometimes. Plus I look forward to my cheat meals which really helps.

    Anyway, good for you for doing this thing, you'll be a biggest loser winner!

  8. I just did this. I told the entire world what I weigh and then I knew because they knew, I had to change it. I couldn't go around living my life with everyone knowing exactly what I weigh!!! So, I am down 22 lbs. (depending on the day) which is about halfway to my goal. I set a pack of chocolate lava cakes I had gotten for V Day on my desk at work and every time I was starving I gave them the stink eye while talking to them about how I was stronger than they were and I didn't have to eat them because they were just pretending to be gooey and delicious while they were actually hip inflating, stomach bloating, butt bulging liars! Did every one of my co-workers think I had lost my mind from hunger induced hallucinations? Sure. But who cares? Good luck and your friend is totally right. If you want to do it, you will! And we will all cheer you on! :)

  9. 10Ks are the perfect length. You have to work hard to train for them, but not like, 20 hours in the gym, 6 days a week hard. And at the end, you can say, I RAN SIX MILES THIS MORNING! Oh, what's that you say? You did a Jillian Michael workout? That's so cute. I EAT JILLIAN MICHAEL WORKOUTS FOR BREAKFAST!"

    Cheering for you here in CT.

  10. You can do it, Jonesy! I believe in you and I toast a piece of (whole wheat!) toast in your direction.

    I have an incentive for you... if you lose a certain amount of weight or run a certain amount of time then you should reward yourself with a SLOTH RING! She also makes sloth necklaces, key holder, and heart shaped pendant. Sloth jewelry is the ultimate incentive!

  11. Oh Jones! You are so amazing for sharing this. Please don't hesitate to text me when you need any type of support or advice. I'm still fighting the weight loss battle. I'd love to help you too :)

  12. Awesome! Maybe try a nutritionist? I've found that they'er usually SUPER nice and understanding. I find it's so helpful not only to have their knowledge and food ideas, but it's also rally helpful if you know you're going to have to report to a real person on a regular basis, and can really sense the dread of having to BS them about why you ate nothing but marshmallows for lunch last Wednesday. Health insurance often covers them, and if not then just the fact that you spent $50 or whatever to meet with them once to create a plan is incentive in itself not to blow it! So impressed with you!!!!

    1. Oh man that's an excellent idea! Thanks Alexandra!

  13. I have been in the midst of a get healthy/fitness/weight loss plan for 5 months now so I know exactly how you feel. The thing that helps me the most is, like Alexandra said, knowing I have to report to a real person (my trainer).

    I know we don't know each other but I can SO relate to what you are facing (life-long for me) and am here for you. You think what you're doing is hard, but imagine all of the people who will never have the courage to be honest with themselves like you have been. Sending MY good thoughts for you out to the universe!

    1. It's a live long battle for me too and it's so tough. Thank you so much and if you ever need a fitness partner in crime you just let me know. i live on the gchat :)

  14. man jones you even make me smile and laugh when you're being serious! you go girl. i have issues saying no to ranch dressing so if you say no to the cookies, i promise to say no to my ranch!

    oh and please tell me you've watched the bachelor clip on with the guy who brings his son out of the limo to meet des?! my ovaries hurt watching it. sigh.

    1. God I love ranch dressing too. I'm checking that preview asap so I can judge...I mean see what the fuss is about. :)

  15. You CAN do it!!!

  16. Muffin, I'm so proud of you for writing this! It's NOT easy to be the kind of person who goes on a run after a bad day. Fuck that. The thing is, you just need to find something that you ENJOY. Try swimming, spinning, try every class at the gym, you WILL find something. I'm totally cheering for you, my friend! Text me, email me - anything I can do to support you! xoxox

  17. I'm right there with you if it makes you feel any better! I'm impressed by the courage you have to come forward with it. Actually, right before I read this, I was eating a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos on my couch! Ugh! So sad! But, I'm on week 4 of Couch to 5K. So, I'm taking baby steps towards a healthier lifestyle! It's so very hard, but it's attainable for sure! When I've had success in the past, it's been from making one good decision at a time. Not thinking about next month's vacation or this weekends birthday party...just ONE good decision at a time, no matter how small. In it with ya girl! We can do it!

  18. Way to go Jonesy! I second Colleen. Working out consistently has alot to do with finding something that you enjoy. And it's great if there are a few different activities you like, that way you can keep from getting bored.

    Best of luck to you! Here's to being healthy! *clink water bottles*

  19. I have the same issue with cookies. It's like they beg to be put into my mouth.

    I decided to run a 5K next weekend and I've been training for it with friends motivating me along the way.... and it's been so much greater than I expected. I can actually run now and I feel good (minus the whole MY LEGS WANT TO DIE!!!! pain). And this is coming from the gal who couldn't run more than a minute last fall. So yea. If I can do it... I believe ANYONE can do it! So best o' luck!

  20. First off, this post is fantastic, it is so real and raw yet hilarious at the same time! I myself have struggled with weight my whole life, and I have to say Weight Watchers taught me portion control and how to regulate my emotional eating. My highest was 220, I'm now at 150 post baby, and I have to say my biggest accomplishment was no longer losing/maintaining a healthy weight for someone else or for something else, but rather doing it because I deserve to live a healthy life where I can wear the clothes I want by the designers I love. And it is that mentality that for me has kept it off, and that allowed me to lose the baby weight and then some. Here's to a 10K and doing it for YOU!

  21. I could have written this post verbatim! I've been trying to lose 50lbs through WW for over a year, I think I've only lost 5lbs. so sad. So this year, while still attempting to do WW, I hate tracking like a mofo, but apparently that's the only way it works, whatevs..I've decided to focus on exercise. I'm running a 10K at the end of July and a half marathon at the beginning of September. I'll cheer you on! As of two months ago I only had ever ran one block before almost passing out.

    You go, girl!!

  22. SOLIDARITY. I _felt_ this post almost word for word a couple of days ago.

  23. You can do it! I can read the determination in your font. I am rooting for you - you give me hope that one day, I too could accomplish the gargantuan task of getting fit. I got outta fit in 1998, and except for about an 8 month stretch just before and just after my wedding in 2007, I have been in a shape since then. The shape is a thick oval. I actually bought a dance workout DVD last week, thinking I cold trick myself into exercising by pretending I was dancing. Then I turned it on and it reminded me to consult a physician before beginning and I went all compliance officer, "I can't exercise yet because I haven't consulted my doctor yet." Be gone negativity...just get up and do it. Also love the idea of going to bed when I am hungry to keep from eating. Do you think Child Protective Services will accept "but I am on a diet and was hungry" as a defense for leaving the kids wandering about the house whilst I hide under my covers? I certainly ope so. I've heard they are a friendly bunch. Nope, in fact I've heard they are as friendly as compliance officers. I might be in trouble.

    Seriously, good luck! I am rooting and praying for your success.

  24. Clicking over from camp patton, and what a great post, indeed. HAVE FUN running. when it stops being fun, run for 5 more minutes and reevaluate.

  25. Girl, you can so do this! The Catholic moms are cheering you on!!!


    Just read this girl's great story, very motivational! And no gimmicky stuff

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