A Comprehensive List

I am currently sitting here on my bed staring at this:

That my friends is the biggest hunk of clothes I have allowed to pile up to date.

I will now provide you with a comprehensive list of everything on earth I would rather do than fold and put away this monstrosity. 

- Have a routine dental exam

- Have gum stuck in my hair

- Clip Doug's toe nails

- Clip Lindsay Lohan's toe nails (you know those b's are nasty)

- Clean the dishes in the sink (update: those are now clean)

- Walk 500 miles

- Then walk 500 more

- Give an angry raccoon a bath

- Play one round of Jumanji 

I immediately take that one back. 

- Watch "Gigli" on repeat for 24 hours

- Glue my fingers together

- Get a paper cut

- Eat vegetables

- Babysit a teething toddler

- Hang out with Olivia Pope's mom from "Scandal"

- Ride in the middle seat on an airplane for the rest of my life

- Eat trail mix without m&ms

- Play that game where someone has their hands under your hands and you have to move them before they slap them...aka the worst most anxiety fueled game on the planet 

- Yard work

- Completing all the fitness tests that you had to do in elementary school...however someone would need to be hear to hold my feet for curl ups. I roll around like a turtle on its back otherwise. You're welcome for that image.

So yeah that about sums my night up.

Hopefully no one minds me wearing my Wrestlemania sweatshirt to work tomorrow because all my office clothes are hidden in that pile.

With the energy and work ethic I have designated to this task I may be wearing a belted night shirt by Friday.

Pray for the residents of my building...for their eyes will never have seen such a sight.