Apr 15, 2014

Hyperbole & a Half



My favorite blog of all time is "Hyperbole & a Half."
Allie Brosh is the genius behind it and is essentially the light of my life. 
I spent Sunday morning reading her book outside of Starbucks and probably looked like a crayzeee person from giggling so hard.
She writes about everything but her humor and storytelling are truly top notch.
She wrote a post about why she was never going to be an adult a couple of years ago and it was like she was in my brain. 

Generally I feel like an adult 4% of the time.
I mean sure I pay my bills and I shower but for the most part I am nothing like the adults I consider...adults.
(This post will clearly get me the Pulitzer Prize.)
Reasons why I'm not adult like:
-I live in a residence hall
- I pick things up with my feet so I don't have to bend down
- I do not know how/what a retirement fund is
- I eat chips in my bed
- I play a stressful game of garbage Jenga until it is absolutely necessary to take out the trash.
- I wait until the end of the week to bring my coffee cups home from my office.
To be clear my office is down the hall from my apartment
- I own one stock...Krispy Kreme Donuts
That is not a lie.
In fact both Barb Jones and I both own stock in Krispy Kreme.
- I am not a morning person.
- I do not eat breakfast at a table every morning...more like on the go.
- I turn the lights off to go to bed at 11:30 and end up looking a Groupon, Living Social, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, email, repeat until 1am.

But today was one of the days where I was determined to be the best adult I could be.

I walked Doug earlier than usual.
Sent out a ton of productive emails.
Took out my garbage.
Unloaded the dishwasher
Loaded the dishwasher back up.
Used my overly ripe bananas to make banana bread instead of throwing them away (I mean c'mon I'm essentially Martha Stewart).
Made guacamole from scratch:
Along with some homemade salsa.
Didn't let the banana bread burn. 
Folded and put away my laundry from last week.
Watched one second of the real people news as opposed to the all celebrity all the time news I frequent.
Googled "where are they now?" for the cast of "Heavyweights."
(Fun fact: Gerry from the movie now looks like Lars. My mind was blown.)
Turned off my TV at a reasonable hour, and will only indulge in checking Instagram and Facebook before bed. 

Much like Allie says in her blog, this will not last long.
Tomorrow I will return to my old ways of picking things up with m'toes 
and continuing to make a list of "Things to ask Barb Jones When She Visits."
Top of the list:
- How do I get a retirement?
That's how you ask for it right?

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