True Life: I snore

I'm here to admit, that I, Ashley Jones, am ....a snorer.

I have been for awhile now.

Falling asleep in public places covertly is not on my list of strengths. 

Sleeping (and sounding) like a bear however, #1 of my napsquest. 

It's doesn't happen EVERY time I sleep...but it does happen like 98% of the time. 

I hate it. 

I feel bad whenever I have to share rooms or have sleep overs because I know I'm potentially keeping someone awake. 

It's pretty embarrassing to know that although dainty and delicate during the day, (ha), at night I turn into a 

snory shebeast that allows no one their rightfully earned trip to Sleep City. 

I try to will myself to have a silent night of sleep. 

I give myself pep talks like:

"Hey Jones, don't be a huge fart bag and keep up your friends." 

I envision peaceful images of babbling brooks and Justin Timberlake dancing to aid me in my peaceful slumber.

How I think I look when I'm asleep:

What I really look like when I'm asleep:

All of this came roaring to my attention this past week when I shared a room with 3 patient souls at a conference.

I bought them ear plugs and wore breath right strips and tried to win their love so that I wouldn't be smothered. 

The icing on the cake was this past weekend at the initiation weekend for Alpha Delta Pi.

I vowed I would repeat this story to no one because it's so embarrassing but you know, 

when has that ever stopped me?

Let me set the scene for you: 

A bunch of women in a small room, doing cool stuff I can't tell you about or else. 

That room gets hot, ya girl here gets shaky, clammy, and a little pass outty....that's a thing...as of now. 

 I was told to take it easy, and rest in the back of the room. 

I did. 

And fell asleep. 

Hard. 

So hard in fact, that my body knew I was probably making a lot of noise. 

As I jolted awake, I heard a woman say, 

"No there isn't a man back there...just a Sister." 

This sister: 

Then I died. 

This is a ghost writing this post. 

I will probably be invited to zero other initiation events in the near future. 

Or ever. 

Guess that frees up a lot of time for me to hit the SNOOZE button on the weekends. 

I know. 

I'll see myself out.