Apr 9, 2014

True Life: I snore

I'm here to admit, that I, Ashley Jones, am ....a snorer.
I have been for awhile now.

Falling asleep in public places covertly is not on my list of strengths. 
Sleeping (and sounding) like a bear however, #1 of my napsquest. 

It's doesn't happen EVERY time I sleep...but it does happen like 98% of the time. 

I hate it. 
I feel bad whenever I have to share rooms or have sleep overs because I know I'm potentially keeping someone awake. 

It's pretty embarrassing to know that although dainty and delicate during the day, (ha), at night I turn into a 
snory shebeast that allows no one their rightfully earned trip to Sleep City. 

I try to will myself to have a silent night of sleep. 
I give myself pep talks like:
"Hey Jones, don't be a huge fart bag and keep up your friends." 

I envision peaceful images of babbling brooks and Justin Timberlake dancing to aid me in my peaceful slumber.

How I think I look when I'm asleep:

What I really look like when I'm asleep:

All of this came roaring to my attention this past week when I shared a room with 3 patient souls at a conference.
I bought them ear plugs and wore breath right strips and tried to win their love so that I wouldn't be smothered. 

The icing on the cake was this past weekend at the initiation weekend for Alpha Delta Pi.
I vowed I would repeat this story to no one because it's so embarrassing but you know, 
when has that ever stopped me?

Let me set the scene for you: 

A bunch of women in a small room, doing cool stuff I can't tell you about or else. 
That room gets hot, ya girl here gets shaky, clammy, and a little pass outty....that's a thing...as of now. 
 I was told to take it easy, and rest in the back of the room. 
I did. 
And fell asleep. 
Hard. 

So hard in fact, that my body knew I was probably making a lot of noise. 
As I jolted awake, I heard a woman say, 
"No there isn't a man back there...just a Sister." 

This sister: 

Then I died. 
This is a ghost writing this post. 

I will probably be invited to zero other initiation events in the near future. 
Or ever. 
Guess that frees up a lot of time for me to hit the SNOOZE button on the weekends. 

I know. 
I'll see myself out. 

10 comments:

  1. I feel your pain, girl. Feel. Your. Pain.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Coach Handbags Outlet are usually viewed as luxurious brands, but yet at inexpensive price.
    Today most people looking for COACH accessories will look for them at Coach Bags Factory Outlet.
    Coach Sale are just the most inexpensive items to purchase through Coach Purses Outlet, a small change purse or Cheap Coach Purses.
    Coach Bags On Sale are a fun accessory to add to a new collection.
    Coach Bags Outlet is can be carried or slipped over your shoulder.
    Authentic MK Outlet are made of high grade quality leather and Michael Kors Factory Outlet can actually have real leather on them.
    Michael Kors Purse Sale usually come with a plate bearing the MK Outlet logo to distinguish it from other Cheap Michael Kors Purses.
    Michael Kors Outlet Online have the inherent ability to capture the essence of what women like and what they want to wear and utilize.
    Michael Kors Outlet Store are a symbol of feminine elements and speak for all kinds of women.
    Michael Kors Purses On Sale of the day vary greatly, but all seem to share one characteristic, they are popular!

    ReplyDelete