True Life: I snore
I'm here to admit, that I, Ashley Jones, am ....a snorer.
I have been for awhile now.
Falling asleep in public places covertly is not on my list of strengths.
Sleeping (and sounding) like a bear however, #1 of my napsquest.
It's doesn't happen EVERY time I sleep...but it does happen like 98% of the time.
I hate it.
I feel bad whenever I have to share rooms or have sleep overs because I know I'm potentially keeping someone awake.
It's pretty embarrassing to know that although dainty and delicate during the day, (ha), at night I turn into a
snory shebeast that allows no one their rightfully earned trip to Sleep City.
I try to will myself to have a silent night of sleep.
I give myself pep talks like:
"Hey Jones, don't be a huge fart bag and keep up your friends."
I envision peaceful images of babbling brooks and Justin Timberlake dancing to aid me in my peaceful slumber.
How I think I look when I'm asleep:
What I really look like when I'm asleep:
What I really look like when I'm asleep:
All of this came roaring to my attention this past week when I shared a room with 3 patient souls at a conference.
I bought them ear plugs and wore breath right strips and tried to win their love so that I wouldn't be smothered.
The icing on the cake was this past weekend at the initiation weekend for Alpha Delta Pi.
I vowed I would repeat this story to no one because it's so embarrassing but you know,
when has that ever stopped me?
Let me set the scene for you:
A bunch of women in a small room, doing cool stuff I can't tell you about or else.
That room gets hot, ya girl here gets shaky, clammy, and a little pass outty....that's a thing...as of now.
I was told to take it easy, and rest in the back of the room.
I did.
And fell asleep.
Hard.
So hard in fact, that my body knew I was probably making a lot of noise.
As I jolted awake, I heard a woman say,
"No there isn't a man back there...just a Sister."
This sister:
Then I died.
This is a ghost writing this post.
I will probably be invited to zero other initiation events in the near future.
Or ever.
Guess that frees up a lot of time for me to hit the SNOOZE button on the weekends.
I know.
I'll see myself out.
I feel your pain, girl. Feel. Your. Pain.
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