Bachelorette Dude Preview

Tomorrow is the day y'all. 

"The Bachelorette" comes back into our lives and I can't effing wait. 

ABC released who the cast is last week and I thought I would give my thoughts...

because who doesn't want to know my opinion based on my judgement of dudes faces?

Andrew: 

Looks like he farted and the people behind the camera just got a whiff. 

His favorite foods consist of things that my niece would proclaim as her favorites as well. 

He seems like a dude who would hold up his hands to show "how many" he was when asked his age. 

Bradley:

An opera singer aka Sharkleen Part Deux. 

He also looks like Danny Tanner. 

Brett:

Has a rat-tail/mullet situation so naturally I identify with him. 

He also looks like Ryan from Emily's season. 

I see him as being a bad boy type, but Andi will like him because she values a man who can keep her layers and hombre on point.

Brian:

One of his favorite movies is "Heavyweights."

He gets my first impression rose. 

Carl:

My friend has a dog named Carl therefore I can't take him seriously. 

Chris:

I think this guy ate Brad Womack

I expect a lot of FarmersOnly.com jokes with this one. 

Cody:

If Sean Lowe tanned a lot and was part troll, he would be Cody's twin.

Craig:

Is from Defiance, which is where crap went down on Scandal, therefore I"m intrigued by him.

Dylan:

His bangs are not appealing but dammit do I love Connect Four.

Emil:

HE IS A HELICOPTER PILOT.

THIS SHOW WILL WRITE ITSELF. 

I swear to all that is holy, if he gets out of the limo with a remote control helicopter I will lose m'mind. 

Other than that he has no redeeming qualities.

See: twerking is his favorite dance move.

Jason:

Looks like quite a few Lifetime movie murderers. 

JJ:

I don'tk now what a Pantsapreneur is but he is my favorite. 

Also he's workin' that sweater.

Josh B: 

He ran a marathon so I'm immediately uneasy. 

I don't want him to take her on a "running" date. 

Those give me heartburn.

Josh M:

Gives me an Ari Jr. vibe. I don't hate it. 

Marcus:

I don't know if I can get behind a dude that claims Enrique Iglesias is one of his favorite musical artists. 

He's a pro soccer player though, so there's going to be some comparisons to JP.

Marquel:

I would like to date Marquel as he is beautiful. 

So send him home Andi, he looks dumb and you'll hate him.
(I didn't mean it Marquel...call me....)

Mike:

I bet he talks like Keanu Reeves.

Nick S.

If he's smart he makes a lot of golf puns. 

"She's a hole in 1"

"I'm up to par."

"Let's act like a Caddy and Shack UP!"

That one...isn't good. 

Don't say that one. 

Nick V.

I like this one. 

I don't know why. 

But I do. 

Patrick:

Looks like Gaston. 

Will probably want to be the next Bachelor.

Ron:

Says he is a beverage sales manager....does that mean he's a bartender?

Rudie:

He ALSO looks like a Lifetime movie villan. 

He's a lawyer, I predict he's going to make an awful opening line like, "I'll need to cross-examine you," or something equally as gross. 

Steven:

Kinda hope he talks like the sea turtle from "Finding Nemo."

Tasos:

He's a wedding event coordinator, so naturally he's going to push that he's super ready for marriage. 

I am already annoyed. 

Cross your fingers for a good season. 

I hear Andi weeds through these guys pretty fast. 

I bet she holds some of these guys in contempt. 

I hope they can all handle the truth. 

I hope she's found guilty of BEING IN LOVE.

I'll stop.

Join me on twitter tomorrow to live tweet please?

@ashleyjonesy