Jun 5, 2014

Andi is a yelly beast...

Part 2 of this week's episodes starts in New England.
Normally we are told where they are going in advance, so I was displeased that their itinerary was given to us so last minute. 
Andi looked at the water as per usual as she talked about how happy she was and blah blah blah. 
"This is water."
 Trody tells us he's really hoping for 1:1 time with Andi, and that's when I realized, 
I too was hoping he got 1:1 time with Andi. 
That date would be the BEST.
 Alas the wispy haired wonder wasn't chosen, and the
1:1 date went to that lovable robot Dylan.
 The date took place on the Polar Express...
"I'm too old for this..."
where Andi hoped that her and Dylan's relationship would move full steam ahead. 
Y'all know I love a pun so I high-fived my TV on that one.  
Yet again, CJJ (Creepy Joshua Jackson) analyzed Dylan's chances of getting the rose, and once again he determined it was a 50/50 shot. 
They need to look elsewhere for their statistician if you ask me.

 Andi sensing that Dylan had some demons asked him questions about 
you guessed it:
Why he was single.
He went on to talk about his girlfriend and how they broke up the day after his brother's funeral.
He then looked out the window and let Andi know that he had been swimming in that river.
Andi's reply?
"Those were the days....."
Yeah girl. 
They were.

At dinner Dylan opened up about his family situation. 
He told Andi that he normally didn't share that both of his siblings died with anyone. 
Except for her...and America.
Andi felt honored that he opened up to her, and he seemed to lighten up a little bit.
He told her that she didn't need to give him the rose if she felt bad for him.
She ended up giving him the rose, and offered up one more surprise. 
I was hoping for Tom Hanks to show up and conduct the Polar Express back to the hotel, but all they got to do was pull the whistle on the train for the second time. 
LAME surprise Andi(rew).

The group date was a basketball game which had Coach Bryan amped up.
Then the lady Monstars arrived and schooled the boys in a quick game.
The guys were told they were going to play against each other and that the winners were going to get more time with Andi while the others went back to their hotel room like huge losers.
Before the half the score was 6-6 so as you can imagine it was like a bunch of Lebron's out there runnin' the court. 
In the end Coach Bryan's team ended up winning and JJ took it pretty hard as is evident by his hair.

Andi met up with the guys for 1:1 time later in the evening and started off by talking to Eric. 
Eric told her he was feeling a little uneasy about where he stood and wanted a little clarification. 
Andi asked him to open up more and he easily obliged by talking to her about how and why he left his religion. 
It was kind of an awkward conversation but ended alright. 

Coach took Andi back on the court to teach her how to play basketball. 
She told him to make a half court shot, and if he did ....nothing would happen. 
He took the shot and
MADE IT Y'ALLLLLLL
Andi and I were pretty overcome with the hotness that had just occurred
and while Andi practically threw herself at him, Coach hugged her and walked out. 
Later he ended up getting the rose for the date but was pretty bummed he didn't make the move to kiss her.

It was during this date that I proclaimed Coach as my second favorite (#1 being the Farmer. duh.)

The second 1:1 date was with Murderer Marcus. 
Where they inch wormed their way down the side of the hotel. 
Which was new and exciting and had never been done before. 
(Sike.)
Andi, like everyone who goes on these dates, was terrified of heights but eventually made it with the help of Marcus distracting her. 
Probably the best quote of the night was after MurdyMarcus asked her what her mom was like and Andi replied, 
"She's nicer...she plays Mahjong...with her friends."

Halfway down Andi made out with Marcus, because romance. 
I was have probably face pushed the dude out of the way and slid down the rest of the building like a fire pole but different strokes for different folks. 
During dinner Marcus covered the rose with a napkin,
because having flowers at the dinner table is rude. 
Andi, of course, thought it was endearing, and proclaimed that Marcus didn't know what a catch he was. 
Oddly enough he is going to catch Andi and keep her in his basement should he not make it far on the show. 
They are treated to yet another concert where they danced in front of everyone, and all is well in the world. 

The next day, Chris Harrison delivers a love note from a secret admirer who claims that can't reveal who they are yet. 
But they do have a dramatic reenactment of the writing in black and white that makes it seem like the letters are coming from the past a la Ben Franklin's quill. 
It was a sweet letter and I'm curious to see who the dude behind the BIC is. 
The cocktail party begins, and while Tasos does his best to make an impression, Coach swoops in and takes her back out to center court, and kisses her. 
While he was doing that, I was signing up for basketball lessons so that I could become his assistant coach and then marry him.
Others talked to her but the night came to an abrupt halt when Eric pulled her aside. 
He tells her that if they keep moving at this pace, they aren't going to go anywhere, and that he didn't know where he stood with her. 
He felt like she was one way around the guys, and another way when the cameras were there. 
He told her that he was there to meet a person not a television actress.
Andi went from normal to bunny boiler crazy in less time than it takes for someone to blink. 
Eric tried to clarify that he felt that he had been very open with her
(Syria, religion, etc.) but that he didn't know who she was. 
He told her that she had a poker face, and she lost it. 
She told him that not only was she exhausted but he had no idea what it was like sending people home. 
She told Eric that she stayed up late to check in on everyone and to make sure that people were having fun, and that he was being offensive. 
He tried to calm her down and tell her that she was misunderstanding him, but she told him that their relationship was way past healthy and that he should leave. 
He stressed that he just wanted her to be comfortable with him, and not act. 
She told him that if he said "acting" one more time she was going to lose it. 
(Note to self: She had not yet lost it.)
Essentially she escalated the situation to Juan Pablo level.

He ended up leaving, and as he walked out he talked about how sorry he was and how he felt misunderstood regarding the whole situation. 
He left with class, and with the intent to find love. 
He said he was more ready than ever, and then walked to the cab.
That precious dude didn't even get a limo. 

Back in the hotel, Andi walked into the crowd of guys and told them that if they felt she wasn't taking it seriously or being real with them that they could, 
"walk their ass on out..."
Then said she was sorry for yelling at them. 
It was extremely uncomfortable, especially with the added knowledge that Eric died a few weeks after he left. 
The night ended there and was followed by an awkward interview with Andi.
I feel kinda bad for Andi because now she seems like an uber villain.
It ended on a very sad note, but with the realization that Eric was a really positive great guy.

I believe the best way to move forward is to think of her as someone who is bananas and will probably make whoever she chooses ditch all their friends for new ones, wear only the clothes she picks out for them, and deletes their mom's number from their phone.
A little Andi "welcome to the gang" initiation of her own.

There aren't any episodes next week, so let's just hold hands and think about what getting a rose means to us while we wait to see who else Andi yells at.
(Please be Trody.)

27 comments:

  1. Coach has quickly jumped to my #1 after the way he reacted to making that shot. He was so happy! I also like Andi just a little less after this whole Eric thing! She literally flipped a switch and didn't listen to him at all.
    Anyway, thanks for your recaps...always a highlight of the week!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Is Bryan the only one who's managed to make a group date feel like a 1:1 so far? YES. He's amazing. But also, Andi isn't right for him. I'm naming and proclaiming it. A certain Ashley Jones would be a much better match.

    I am glad that someone besides me realizes that Marcus is a complete scary weirdo stalker type. I don't know if Andi doesn't realize it because his scariest comments are made to the cameras when she's not there, but he definitely seems to have some issues. Andi's not my flavor of the month, but I'm genuinely scared for her if she doesn't figure out how to see through him fast.

    Eric, man, I loved him from the beginning. Do I always want what I can't have? Maybe. But also, he was a complete badass and also smart and interesting. I knew it wasn't going to work out, but I really didn't want it to end like that. And also, when Andi was interviewed at the end, she SHOULD have said something like "I'm sorry I was so mean to him, didn't listen to any of his valid points, and acted crazy." But she didn't She made it seem like it was still his fault and if they'd seen each other again, she's sure she would have forgiven him because he would've probably done something to make her laugh. Really? After all that time, that was the best reflection she could come up with?

    I also thought it was weird that she said they're like a family. This is not "7 Brides for 7 Brothers." This a competition where a bunch of guys want the same women. Unless you're on Sister Wives Reversed, this is decidedly NOT a family, and if it is, it's SO FAR PAST HEALTHY, which we know Andi hates. Soooo.... what?!?!?!?!

    I don't know if I can go on. But I can always obsessively refresh my Feedly waiting for your recaps! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought the same thing about the family comment! Call me old fashioned, but I just think it's best to leave the "family" analogies out of a dating show.

      Delete
  3. Thank you for the recap! I'm in favor of Coach and Farmer but sadly seeing them getting their hearts broken. Andi can send them my way.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Coach is my current favorite. Of course, every time I have a favorite, I decide that they are way too good for Andi, and hope that she doesn't end up with them.

    That interview with her about Eric was the worst. Couldn't they have had some friends of his or something on there? And if they didn't want to do it, then just let it be, ABC. Having Andi talk about him for ten minutes when we'd all just seen her wig out on him was awful. And speaking of her wigging out--my favorite part of it was that Eric's gripe with her was essentially what she said to Juan Pablo. Hypocrisy isn't a good look, Andi. Neither is crazy. Eric was being a little bit pushy, but there are still a lot better ways to get yourself out of that situation than by going bunny boiler.

    ReplyDelete
  5. These posts give my abs a work-out from laughing. And they definitely need a work-out. Thanks Jones!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't know you but I know these are amazing recaps and I'm so glad I found your blog! My fav is Andi is short for Andrew hahaha! Can't wait for the next one

    ReplyDelete
  7. I started reading last season when the Camp Patton blog linked to you. I really enjoy these recaps. I've been checking every day for this week's recap, and am looking forward to it! I hope you have been okay!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I discovered you through Camp Patton too. I have definitely been refreshing your page about twelve times a day in anticipation of the next recap. Not kidding even a little bit.

    ReplyDelete
  9. GIRL!! Been following your blog for fo-evah - maybe call me a stalker (I follow you on the gram too), but I SO enjoy your recaps and hilarity. I feel like we would be friends in real life. Just throwing that out there.
    Listen, I know you have a deep love for Sharkleen - I just discovered her blog that also recaps the bachelorette - homegirl is pretty right on and gives some super interesting insights as to what is going on behind the scenes. Gotta check it out! http://www.alltheprettypandas.com/recaps/

    ReplyDelete