Jul 9, 2014

Showcasing Andi...


This week was HOMMMMMETOWNNNNNNS. 
If you didn't read that like Oprah, I need you to take a step back and reevaluate your choices for a minute then come back and rejoin us. 

They wasted zero time jumping right into Nick's date. 
Again everyone was wearing scarves which led me to realize that they are this year's helicopter. 

Nick told Andi that he wanted to "like show you my like...home." 
Kind of the point, one would say. 
The date was a snoooooze. 
They went on a brewery tour. 
At one point Andi's hair was all kinds of hanging over an open container full of beer, so whoever drinks from that batch...enjoy your Locks of Lager.

Once they got to Nick's house, Andi was introduced to his family. 
During the introductions, I had to check to make sure I didn't actually change the channel to this.
Jeez were there a ton of them. 
 His mom seemed super dressed up for the occasion. 
A suit jacket seemed pretty intense. 
 During dinner one of them, asked Andi to talk. 
DURING DINNER. 
Let her finish her meal first, f. 
She just got done running a 5k through your hallway of family photos.
The least you can do is let her carbo load. 
Andi was also interviewed by Nick's littlest sister, Bella.
I'm assuming she was a Twilight baby because she is YOUNG. 
 She asked Andi what her favorite part about Nick was. 
Instead of saying, "he's nice!" or "he's so funny!" 
She told her that they had a great MENTAL CONNECTION.
When Andi was done explaining that she moved onto how babies were made. 
Ok not really but it was very "after school special" in that room. 

Bella asked Andi if she was in love with her brother. 
Andi said she really liked him. 
When Nick came to get the details it was pretty clear Bella was not trying to be helpful even a little bit. 
She told him that Andi said she loved him. 
And then said, "I mean liked him."
Eight year olds are catty y'all. 
 Nick talked to his mom and they both cried, and then made out.
What is happening here?

Did anyone catch when one of Nick's sisters asked him if Andi made him laugh?
His response: "She makes me smile." 
Girl, he said you wasn't funny. 

Nick still thinks he's the favorite, and she is whisked away to her next date with:
CHRISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!
I mean. What?
 So here's the thing, Chris's farm, and house, and everything about him is perfect. 
I have no problem saying that I am 100% in love with this man. 
I'm talking Sean Lowe proportions.
I never thought I could love again. 

Let's just look at the interviews alone...
How?
Marry me. 

Andi and Chris drove around on the tractor for awhile. She asked to sit on his lap, and I got "Flavor of Love" girl jealous about it.
I was praying that they would capitalize on a surprise concert opportunity by bringing Jason Aldean in to sing, "Big Green Tractor," but alas they did not. 
However, I wasn't mad because literally everything else about this date was perfect. 
Is Jason gonna come up thru the ground? Where is he?

I don't know what it is but whenever Andi is on dates with Chris, I find myself really liking her. 
She seems super laid back, and dare I say it, fun. 

Listen, I'm likin them as a couple and I don't like myself for it. 
However, if they don't work out I'm fine. 
(Chris4Bachelor t-shirts are waiting in the wings just in case.)

Andi asked Chris what she could do for work, and he told her that she could do whatever she wanted. 
He stressed that he knew this would be a date where they had important conversations about their future and that he wanted to her to be happy where she lived. 


She told him she wasn't just a city girl, her family had a lake house in the middle of nowhere. 
So give her a pitchfork and show her the hay y'all because she's half farmer. 

As they were sitting there a plane started flying overhead. 
That's right:
Chris chartered a plane to say "Chris Loves Andi."
And I wept. 

I believe it was at that point I yelled to my TV that I would quit my job to work on his farm. 
As I was having a meltdown and they walked into his house, the plane still flew around. 
How long do you think it went around in circles?
Do you rent one of those hourly? 
Logistically it seemed like an odd investment but I was into it. 

To be clear: I would have vommed if Josh, Marcus, or Nick pulled that kind of stunt. 
how long did that plane fly around?

We met Chris's family and his mom was by far the best. 
She told Andi that women could do anything on a farm, and that she could make a life there if that's what she wanted. 
She also accused Chris of farting, which made me love her even more. 
Who doesn't love a fart joke?
A lot o people, but I'm not one of them. 

They then played "Ghost in the Graveyard."
Andi and Chris made out until his family showed up and ruined it. 
Overall it was my favorite most interesting hometown of the whole episode.
If you couldn't already tell.

The next date was with Josh. 
He took her to "his" baseball field where he hadn't played in 7 years. 
He told Andi that he stopped playing because he wanted to take care of Aaron. 
When I heard that the first time I thought he said, "Erin," and thought we were about to learn about a secret child. 
He just meant his real hot brother who was, at the time trying to get drafted into the NFL. 
After that whole conversation I can't be sure as to what Josh currently does for a job. 
From the sound of it, it seems like he is a babysitter for a large man. 

Once they got to his family's house it was clear that they were a family unit. Because family was important to them because family should be number one to you and your family. 
I mean, if I drank every time they said "family" I would be a ghost typing this right now. 
At one point it was like, ok, we get it, y'all are close. 

We met Sable, Josh's dog, who could essentially eat Andi. 
And then talked to Josh's way hot brother about his hopes for his brother's relationship.
They ended up playing football in the backyard and I was more than convinced that they were going to play full tackle. 
It's clear Josh likes Andi but he's also kind of a caveman. 
He just talks about her being his girl, and not hanging around with other guys. 
Maybe Sable is the guard dog that will stand outside Andi's room should she try not to go dinner with the Beast...I mean Josh. 

The last date was with Marcus.
I wasn't completely convinced he wasn't going to use the hometown time to abscond with Andi into the plains of Texas never to be seen again. 
"Soon."
Andi said that she was hoping to use the date to catch up to Marcus's feelings. 
That gave a little hope that we were at the end of the road of our journey with him. 
He kept telling her that he was going to show her "a day in the life," and then took her
straight to a sketchy strip club. 
He kept saying things like:
"Drink up....this will be better when your drunk."
&
"Don't wander off."
She kept saying she was nervous and to be honest so was I. 
Then he stripped for her....again. 

Andi said it was every girl's dream. 
I can tell you one girl who has never dreamed of that happening to her:
Marcus then told us he was excited to showcase Andi. 
Showcase? 
Like a prize winning poodle?
(via)
We met his family, who all seemed very nice. 
Even his gypsy mother. 

But there was no spark there. 
She left and I was hoping that she would send him on his way. 

Before the rose ceremony they showed the footage of them telling the remaining folks that Eric Hill had passed away. 
It was a really emotional scene, and I kind of wish they would have just kept it to themselves. 
It seemed very private, but overall I think it was tasteful...as tasteful as it could be. 
The rose ceremony was super sad, but in the end Marcus went home. 

I don't know what's going to happen next week, but usually the last 2 episodes pack the most dramz. 
Maybe Nick reveals his hair doll Andi family. 
Or Josh pulls Andi to the top of the Empire State Building to show off his woman. 
And Chris just remains perfect. 

What were your thoughts?
Lemme hear them!

7 comments:

  1. Your recaps are the BEST 😂😂😂

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  2. Gold! Favorite line:"So give her a pitchfork and show her the hay y'all because she's half farmer." I think scarves and "surprise" concerts are this season's helicopter and hot tub. Bring on the drama and the shirtless farmer next week! #teamchris

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  3. "From the sound of it, it seems like he is a babysitter for a large man."

    Lolololllll I know ! How us that even an acceptable answer? Why isn't Andi demanding more details here?!?

    Loved the whole recap!! :)

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  4. First time I've seen your blog, and girl, you make me want to continue watching the show entirely for your recaps. Wasn't feeling this season until you. And really, who wouldn't quit their job for Chris?

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  5. I totally picked up on Nick saying that Andi made him "smile". I was like "Whaaa?!" Odd.

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  6. This is my second attempt at commenting.

    1) Nick. I have not been buying into all the Nick hate. I think he happens to be the most resourceful at making himself stand out in a group dating contest, which is what they are doing, and I think the other guys are jealous that they didn't think of it first. And as much as I think Andi says "like" and "STOP" way too much for intelligent company, I think she is smart enough to see through him if he turns about to be a faker. I think the producers put his hometown first because it was forgettable and ultimately they are fine with us forgetting it. The most memorable thing is the size of his family (huge), but I can't really decide if I see Andi genuinely fitting in there with those obviously darling folk.

    2) Chris's hometown was the BEST and the most memorable, even without the flying plane love banner. His family is hardcore awesome. The conversations were real, significant, and deep. His family is fun and hilarious, and they know how to make a seemingly boring life connected and exciting. I mean -- men wearing lipstick?? Come on! I think Andi seemed really drawn to THEM and his mama's "gumption," but I think she has major misgivings about how she'd survive everyday life in that environment. I loved when Chris said "well, there's an opportunity to be a homemaker," and I raised my hand, but then realized I was already married. Nevermind! Back to work with me. I feel like if Andi went there, she'd been seen as "Princess Andi," but not in a bad way at all. I think they'd dote on her and also have high hopes for what she's capable of doing. Chris is total Sean material. If that's a thing.

    3) Josh. Andi needs to ask him WTF he is doing for a living. I am tired of all this ambiguity. We need to know. Andi needs to know. But otherwise, Andi and Josh's family just seem to be on the same level. I don't know if that's a good thing, because that means she has a little competition. But physically she matches with them, and conversationally, they totally seemed to "get" each other. I think this scenario would challenge Andi the least, and she'd be the most comfortable with them, if not the happiest. For that reason I sort of feel like she might pick him. Because when choosing our future and choosing our family, a part of us needs something comfortable. If so, snore.

    4) Marcus. This was just sad from A to Z and I don't want to talk about it, especially because it took place in Dallas, where I lived for years.

    The whole thing about Eric Hill's death was completely devastating. I agree with you that it seemed over personal, like we didn't belong in there. I'm just so sad about all that. I felt so bad for Andi having to face that, realizing her last interaction with him, and then have to go dump somebody she knew she was going to badly hurt. Gah. Poor thing.

    May Eric rest peacefully.

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