Viva Las Vegas aka Dropping a twin off at home...

After last week's dumpster fire of an episode, we were all hoping for a little joy this week.
Chris Harrison, came in to let everyone know that Ben wasn't in LA anymore and in fact had moved on....

What the fu....


A little rough in the delivery since last week was predominately about death but whatever: VEGAS!

Once the women got to Vegas, a sign on a big screen somewhere in the city said:

"Hi Ladies,
Welcome to Las Vegas!
Love, Ben"

Everyone flipped out.
One girl even said it made her feel so loved.
If a generic sign for 15 women dating the same man makes you feel loved, life is going to be hella easy for whoever scoops her up.

The women stayed at the Aria.
Someone made the comment that they wouldn't be there if it wasn't for Ben.
Or the producers....
Or ABC....
Or whoever built the Aria.

So here's where things start to break down for me.
Olivia, is so "zen with Ben" and she would love to have the 1:1 date with him.
Because he's her man and she's the front runner. 
She's confident when the date card shows up.
So confident in fact, that she's smiling like this:
I'm cute and endearing everyone...look.
When Jojo's name is read,
Olivia is still cool.
Still zen.

Except that when he shows up for their date.
She is NOT ok.
She is having a v. hard time and needs reassurance ASAP
Editing is key on this show and her outfits are always different...but is she crazy?
Because she seems a little crazy.

Ben and Jojo have some champs on the roof top while all the girls watch from the hotel.
Then a helicopter shows up and literally tries to murder them. 
The helicopter is back this season...with a vengeance. 

The date with Jojo was fairly bland.
There were fireworks on the roof top, which everyone in the hotel could see.
Naturally they all took that very hard. 
Especially the twins, 
why are they interviewing like they do in "Step Brothers?"
who would have loved to watch fireworks from a roof top in their city. 

After the group date card arrived and 53 names were read, including Olivia's she says she wanted that 1:1 to keep her head up.
But like 2 mins ago she was confident and ready to give us the weather and traffic updates like every good reporter.
Becca (praise!) got the 1:1 and Olivia continued to plot murder.

The group date was ....just a hot mess all around.
There was Terry with the creepiest puppets you've ever seen.
For a ventriloquist, he moved his lips a lot.
The date was figuring out their talents for a talent show that was going to be in front of Terry's live audience of 1200 people.
Terry reassured the women by saying, that Vegas was the toughest crowd in the world.
If you count being drunk and vomiting in the audience as tough, sure Terry, sure.
They also probably aren't the coolest to a grown man with gross puppets.

The entire date was focused on Olivia and her amazing talent.
She was going to show a different side of herself and was feeling 100% confident.
Again: editing is key on this show but she seemed real into whatever she was going to do.

The other talents were to be expected:
Jubliee plays the cello.
The Twins Irish step danced.

Those were the only two real highlights because everything else was focused on Olivia dressed like a show girl in the hallway. 

She kept alluding to the fact that she was going to do a little "shimmy shimmy" and a little "wham shabam." 

Back on stage a cake was wheeled out. 
And Olivia jumped out of it barefoot.
She did in fact give us a little shimmy shimmy
 but I don't remember any "wham shabam." 

I also don't know about jumping out of a cake. 
Jumping into a cake....seems like a better idea. 
Overall she was just awkward and terrible but it wasn't like she flashed the audience or sang, 
"Happy Birthday Mr. President."
And for that I thank her. 

Ben was clearly her performance.

Her confidence after that was apparently non-existent after that and had a panic attack backstage.
Everyone knows that panic attack = attention. 
When Ben didn't come back stage she wrapped it up real quick. 

The rest of the night was...equally as awkward.
Ben called Chick Flick a Sex Panther.
Which you know what they say, 60% of the time it works every time.
There was a lot of talk about the Little Ben/Big Ben.
A lot of puppet make out action which is so gross.
Who knows what Terry does to those things when no one is around.

Olivia interrupted Ben after about two minutes with another girl,  and told him how terrible she felt.
Then in a rare turn of events, Olivia got interrupted.
Olivia verbalized her feelings by saying she felt, "Funkadelic."
Rad man.
Lauren B was adorable as per usual. 
Then as Ben was talking to one of the twins Olivia interrupted AGAIN. 
As she lurked in the corner you could hear Ben say, 
"I don't know what's going on, I'm sorry."
Ben tells her to lock it up and that she was fine. 
The group date rose went to Lauren B. and Olivia continued on her spiral.

Becca (for President)'s date was last.
A wedding dress was delivered,

and as Jubliee pointed out she was the perfect person to wear white.
....Jubliee also said that no one should be worried because if she hadn't lost it in 26 years she wasn't going to lose it tonight.
She may be complicated and weird, but she's hilarious.
(Jubliee for Vice President.)

Becca arrived and when Ben got down on one knee.
All my dreams came true.
Then he asked her if she would marry....other people with him.

Newly ordained Ben and Becca as his hype man married several couples.

The last was the most concerning....
I'm afraid she was being held against her will...

They went to a neon lights place for dinner and had an adorable conversation about commitment and her decision to stay a virgin until marriage.
I'm not a religious person but it was really cool for her to stand up for her faith and her decision and not be ashamed by it.
Ben really respected that and their conversation further proved that they are perfect for each other.

Finally, there was an impromptu 2:1 date with the twins. 
They were in Las Vegas already so it made sense to drop one or both of them off. 
Plane tickets aren't cheap. 

The twins said that they did everything together. Shared a car, had the same job, wore the same clothes. 
Essentially they are "Sister/Sister"-ing America. 
Once they got home and talked to their mom (who could be their triplet) 
it was confirmed that the Twins were actually teenagers.

Ben was allowed in the rooms and it was like a Delia's catalog and Claire's built a house.

In the end Haley was left in the dust. 
Emily was sad.
But not that sad

The cocktail party was a lot of Olivia lurking and trying to redeem herself,

Although she felt they were back to being on track, she was the last one to get a rose....again. 
However she said it was because "Benjamin" was giving her a sign. 
Bless her. 

After their conversation she went to talk to Jojo. 
She said that she told Ben that she loved him. 
Jojo told her that she would never say something unless it was reciprocated back, to which Olivia said, 
"It was."

She's playing a dirty game. 
And talking in third person a lot more than usual. 
The showdown is coming and I can't wait. 

Amber and one of the brunettes was sent home. 
She  kicked off her shoes and went to sit on the couch to weep...and wait for her bus to arrive that would take her directly to "Bachelor in Paradise."

What did you think about this week?
Any standouts that I missed?
What do you think about Olivia?
Awesomely edited or actually bananas?

all images via


  1. Bananas. PS-I have never, ever watched The Bachelor until I read your reviews. Finally bit the bullet this season. My Monday nights are shot. Thanks for your awesome humor!

  2. Olivia = bananas and edited to emphasize it. I really liked her the first week but now I'm kind of scared of her.
    Also, Haley's (Emily's?) photos of her "ex-boyfriend" in her room made me laugh. I guess she's got someone waiting in the wings.
    Like Ellyn, I've finally bit the bullet and am watching thanks to your spot on reviews.

  3. I agree, Olivia is cray and the editing emphasizes it beautifully. Love your summaries! And yes, the sex panther comment was so weird, especially when they showed the cookie challenge at the end. If that's what it takes to achieve sex panther status, I'm in like flint! Love that she still has no name on your blog and is only chick flick.

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