Jul 10, 2016

Pokemon No.

I have to admit something. 
I suffer from severe cases of FOMO...you know fear of missing out. 

If there's a new Snapchat filter, I'm holding on to my face, and putting that flower crown on.
If I could put the dog ears and nose on with the flower crown, I would essentially out Kylie, Kylie Jenner. 
This one speaks to my soul.
If there's a new flavor of Oreo cookies: I try them. 
Watermelon Oreos taste like chewed up Bubbalicious. 
But you know what, I wouldn't have known that, I had I not wasted my money tried them.

There was the time I wanted to be where the people were....and went to a Target during the Lilly Launch. 

Or that time that I got sucked into that Kim Kardashian Game/App. 
via
Oh, what was that game?
Let me tell you all about it. 
You start as a D list celebrity, and slowly, by going on dates, photo shoots, and club appearances you get closer to the A List. 
The catch is that during "parties" and "dates" you have to be on your phone for basically the entire time so you can earn points and prove you're a worthy A-Lister. 
If you don't pay attention, and don't interact you get rated poorly and then these people, who let me point out, DO NOT exist, fake tweet about you and you lose your street cred.

I distinctly remember, being on a "date" on my phone while on call for work.
I got a call, and 
 by the time I was back and checking in, the date was over, he hated me, and I went from a B to a C. 
My confidence was shot, my fake boyfriend was mad at me, and I was 28 alone on a Friday, mad that my social life was regulated to the C list. 
Clearly I was "Livin' it Up" like Ja Rule taught me in my real life though....

It wasn't until a friend-tervention with my friend Katie, who kindly told me I was being the worst and needed to stop trying to earn points for a new fake outfit, and to eat my pizza like a normal human, that I knew I even had a problem.

Lately, my FOMO has been low. 
I talked myself out of buying banana bread limited edition english muffins the other day. 
Sure I'm still thinking about them, but hey...baby steps. 

THEN...this STUPID POKEMON GO app was released on Friday. 
via

I never was a Pokemon kid. 
The Snorelax did appeal to me, as I believe we are distant relatives, but really I could care less. 
Shower me with Beanie Babies and POGS all day erry day, but I did not have the drive to "catch them all." 

However, on Friday, everyone around me was hunting for Pokemon. 
Going to various locations to gather them, posting that Pokemon were in their homes, and resting on their pets. 
So I caved.
I downloaded it. 
I got into it. 
Really into it.

Like heavily sighing when the server went down and I had to keep refreshing. 
(I mean really? The server went down? What are we pilgrims?)

But like Oprah says, sometimes you have an a-ha! moment, which makes you stop and think.

My number one gal, Barb Jones, was in town and we were shopping some serious sales. 
These two teenage girls were wandering around like they were on a safari. 
They said, "Are you sure the Pokemon is even here?" 
To which I immediately exclaimed, "IS THERE ONE HERE?"
And then the three of us were talking like there were piles of free money just waiting to be snatched up.

They told me they were going to keep looking, and that they would circle back if they found it. 
And when I thought, "My mom won't mind waiting for her 29 year old daughter to find out if those teens found a Pokemon..." I knew that I had been Kardashian'd. 
I deleted the app, and I've been clean for a full day. 
For all of you out there hunting, be brave. 
But also, please get out of my way because I'm hungry, and I don't care if the King of Pokemon himself is in the case of pastries at Starbucks, you ain't cuttin'.  

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