Sep 4, 2018

Breaking News When it Breaks....

Hello! 
I thought it was important to dust the...dust off the ole' blog given today's announcement from ABC.

ABC traditional stands for America's Broadcast Channel but to me it's an abbreviation for Ashley's Been Cussing because I have ever since they've made their latest announcement.

The next Bachelor is...

Colton. 
via


COLTON.


Some of you may be like, "Jones, it's what America wanted. It didn't work out with Tia and this is just what's meant to happen." 

Oh...America wanted this? 
Did they? 

LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT SOME NUMBERS THAT I FOUND ON THE INTERNET.

via
TV Guide didn't even have him as an option!!!!!!!!!
via

Grocery Joe, who was voted off NIGHT ONE nearly edged him out. 

What's the plot twist this season going to be? 
Maybe Arie will leave Lauren and then race Colton for the ability to hand out roses. 
Tia for sure isn't coming back, but you know they're going to run that story line into the ground. 



Sure, yes, he adopts senior dogs and has a charity, and is a human person with feelings and emotion.
He is also boring. 
I'd rather watch groceries at Joe's store expire than watch Colton for MONTHS.

He's such a lame pick. 

You know who's not a lame pick?  


Yeah that's right I said it. 
Peter. 
Can I turn the page? 
No.
Has he been on any show this franchise offers since his heart was broken 2 summers ago? 
No. 
Have I tweeted him several times a month since then with no response since then? 
Yes. 


Will I stop doing that?
Eh probably not. 
I'm 31 and single and writing a blog about how I'm irritated, a man, I've never met, will date women, I do not know, for several months on my television. 
I've got time. 

What are your thoughts? 

Who would you have liked to see be the Bachelor? 

Are you going to (rage) watch this season? 










42 comments:

  1. I will rage watch. Honestly, I’m just glad it’s not the whiny man child also known as Blake. Am I the only one that felt like so many red flags were coming up that Blake was not emotionally stable? Also, you only toured your high school on your hometown date. Have you done anything since high school, Blakey?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. YES THANK YOU! I said this and my friends thought I was crazy! He's so immature.

      I'll forever love Peter as well, Ashley!

      Delete
  2. I was deeeeefinitely pulling for Jason or peter. I think Colton is a misguided choice, but literally everyone I know of is mad about it, like more mad than when Nick Viall was made bachelor, so now I just wanna watch because of all the hate. Lol

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have hung with the franchise through so many boring or fake contestants but I just don't think I can watch this one. I'll just read and listen to snarky recaos.
    Peter, you're too good for this franchise but I still wish for your return.

    ReplyDelete
  4. bahaha you're so funny. but also i disagree with you because i want to see Colton do all the things forever. just watch him. i don't care what he's up to. if he hangs out with Dean i'll be extra excited to just watch. #hehot

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like Colton! (...ducks to miss the rotten tomatoes being thrown at me...) I also loved Peter but I think he's too good for all of this. Colton has a big heart and I honestly think he's doing this for his charity and if he happens to find love along the way then he considers it a bonus. Just my two cents...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Our knight in shining armor, Chris Harrison had better prepare himself. He'll be doing a lot of hand-holding and tissue getting for Colton this season.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Please write recaps all season and I'll read them but please don't make me watch Colton anymore!!! Just stop Bachelor Execs, just stop.....

    ReplyDelete
  8. I don’t get it...he didn’t even get a bachelor worthy edit on BIP. Nick did. It was obvious why they picked him.

    Isn’t he a Virgin? Maybe that’s why they are so interested in him?

    I must say, I didn’t like Blake either and I am happy it’s not him. But I don’t like Colton for Bach either!

    I would have liked Jason or Peter! Both would be great!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Right now in the summer I’m saying I could not care any less about Colton. I don’t hate him or think he is bad, I just think he is boring and spent way too much time on my tv as it is: I would have loved Blake. Jason was a close second for me. Peter tops both of them but I just don’t think ABC likes him. I haven’t missed a season yet so I’m sure I will watch when January gets cold and dark and depressing but right now I feel like I may just skip it.

    ReplyDelete
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  15. Coming back to reaffirm that I am rage watching. Mostly raging that so much time was spent watching randos in a hot tub and other such antics for the THREE FREAKING HOUR “VIEWING PARTY” the only good part was the Chris Harrison surprise video. But as for the ACTUAL SHOW, Demi is a child. I LOVE CASSIE the speech pathologist. And I love Nicole/Havana/Miami girl. I’ll take miss Alabama over miss North Carolina, FOR SURE. overall, Colton showed the poor judgement that I expected him to in a room full of beautiful women. The two people he kissed? No. His first impression rose seems like a solid choice, though.

    The real highlight for me was when they put Lucy the Dog’s name and age on the screen. In dog years.

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